Thank You for Modest Ladies
Last Saturday was the greatest day of the year: Leah’s birthday. It was quite the unusual day, though, as I conducted a funeral midday. Also, since it was Saturday, we had to get home a little earlier than normal, so I could look over my sermon notes. (See what preacher’s wives go through?)
Anyway, we were at a local mall, when Leah started talking about something that was upsetting her. I was oblivious, and it was a good time to be so. In front of us were two girls, probably around 20 years of age, who were wearing shorts that nearly redefined “short.” She told me that a man holding his child had watched these two girls walk…for a long time. I was glad that I had been oblivious, because I hadn’t seen the girls until Leah mentioned what was going on.
Later, we walked by the store that doesn’t keep any “secrets.” This time, knowing what I might see, I took the time to see if my shoes needed cleaning. (They do, by the way.)
Finally, Leah couldn’t take it any longer. She just said, “There’s no way a Christian lady can compete.” After a brief exchange, it was clear that she was talking about these displays of sexuality, both in clothing and in advertising. It was also clear that she was truly bothered by this.
…and so was I.
So, today, I want to say “thank you” to Christian ladies who dress modestly. You are still fashionable and, of course, beautiful, but you do not allow the world to sway your standards of morality. You are mindful of God and His standard first, and you also are thinking of your Christian brothers.
As a man, I want to say “thank you.” I have a responsibility to keep my mind focused on what is pure (Philippians 4:8), but you help with that. You don’t load pictures of yourself in a swimsuit on Facebook for the whole world–including men–to see. You avoid showing parts of your body off that only your husband (or future husband) should ever see. You realize that sexuality is a strong temptation for the vast majority of men, and you refuse to be a stumbling block.
As a husband, I want to say “thank you.” Leah is gorgeous, and there is no more beautiful woman on the earth. But temptations are still real, and you aid me in keeping not only by body, but also my thoughts, totally centered on her.
As a dad to a young girl, I want to say “thank you.” You are a living example to my precious daughter. You are showing her that she can be fashionable and feminine, yet remain faithful to the standards of God. You are teaching her that her physical appearance is not all she is, but that she is far more.
As a dad to a young man, I want to say “thank you.” Having been a young man, I know how strong temptations are, and I also remember how they quickly become part of life. Turner is too young to feel them, but for how long? You are going to help him learn to respect ladies, not to just “get an eye-full” of them.
As a Christian, I want to say “thank you.” You are modeling modesty in an extremely immodest world. You are not letting the world shape your standards. You are showing Christ through even your choices of clothing.
I know this is a very difficult subject, and that finding modest clothing is getting more and more difficult. But ladies, please keep God’s standard as your highest priority. The rest of the world is really competing against you, and you have already won. You know that they feel like they have to dress immodestly to draw attention, but you draw attention both for your outward and inward beauty.
It isn’t a competition, but if it were, you would have already been declared the winner. Not by me, but by our Lord.
Today, I just want to say “thank you.”
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15 Comments
Melissa Menley
Great post! Pretty much got chills reading the end.
Kathy Pollard
Wonderful encouragement! Thank you so much!
Lorey Lundy
Thank you for your thank you! My 10 year old daughter and I were just talking yesterday about how it’s part of our job as Christian women to help men in their Godly walk by not adding this type of pressure. I consider your note a positive reinforcement of what we discussed. Thanks!
Ursula Torbett
Thank you! We need more Christian men to speak up. The silence on this issue is deafening. As a mother of 2 grown girls and one little 7 yr old boy and a teacher of teenage girls I applaud your determination of purity.
Lacee
When guys stop speaking up on these issues, I start to question whether it’s an issue at all. So thank you for affirming that we’re doing the right thing; it makes it easier to keep going!
Adam Faughn
Keep it up! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Adam Faughn
Please keep those messages going to your precious daughter!
Karen Bynum Lauderdale
Wonderful!
Dianne Freano Nevius
Thank you Adam for such encouraging words. Coming from a man it makes a difference. Today we don’t atleast our church family speak on this subject.Afraid we will hurt someones feelings. It is time we stepped up and teach our daughter and sons how to dress appropriately. Yes even men or boys if they think that a young girl is not looking and lusting after him when he is half dressed they are wrong. Thank you again.
Emily
Thank you so much for this encouraging post. It really means a lot. It is easy to see the attention that other girls get and to think less of yourself because of the lack of attention you feel like you are getting. I know that the attention those who dress immodestly get is not the attention I should desire, but it is still a discouragement. Thank you for reminding me why I dress modestly. Thank you for reaffirming the beauty that Godly women have. Thank you. 🙂
Joey Macon
Thanks!
Brian
I support shifting one’s self-worth from outward appearance. I think it’s wonderful to communicate that to all so that people do not feel as if they have to dress a certain way or look a certain way. However, the side-argument that women should dress modestly in order that they not tempt men, makes me uneasy. This argument oversexualizes the male condition and claims that it should affect how women dress. This seems to make “dressing modestly” share a major problem with “dressing amodestly”: they are both predicated on consideration for men. When we predicate a decision of women on men, we place more social power on men. I think I’d have less trouble with this if it weren’t so heteronormative. Overall though, I liked the article’s general message that the way one dresses or that one looks should not be a source of one’s self-worth.
Adam Faughn
Brian, I hear what you are saying, but there is another way to look at this. It is not just a “men” issue, but this post was, obviously, written by a man and from my perspective.
However, as a Christian, when I dress myself, I need to have ladies in mind, too. It is the concept of serving my sisters in Christ, just as I would find great joy in knowing that they are serving me by not dressing to entice me. It is really an issue of serving one another and not wanting to cause another to stumble, no matter if it is man to woman or woman to man.
Thanks for your thoughts and I hope this response helps you think through this some more.
Brian
I can agree with that assessment, with concern for the other’s temptation is not unidirectional. Thanks for your response!
emily wierenga
just, thank you… this is so moving. i love the honesty, and the approach you took too. my heart is just so saddened by the objectification of people. i appreciate you speaking out, friend. bless you, e.