A Personal Letter to My Homosexual Friends
Dear Friend,
Aren’t we living in a confusing time? As I study history, though, I see that nations and peoples are seemingly always confused about many issues, ranging from the very unimportant to things that are cultural-shakers. I am writing to you today about something that, as I see it, is the latter.
Part of the confusion of our times is in dealing with homosexuality. Should it be accepted? Sanctioned? Shouted down? Is it even an issue any longer? This is a conversation that has been a long time coming, but has truly exploded in the last couple of years or so. In some ways, that is a good thing, because we must be willing to talk about issues, even if they are very emotionally charged or even uncomfortable. If we lose the ability to communicate with both intelligence and emotion, we have lost one of the great gifts that God has given us.
But I fear we are losing some of that, and I mean that on both sides of the issue. Some who wear the name of Christ have crossed the line from being “bold” to downright cruelty. It is not a Christian attitude or action to use slurs or to make homosexuality the one sin that is bringing down our culture. Of course, I have written about this issue and even preached about it from the pulpit, but that is not the only sin I have ever “singled out.” Hopefully, those who know me know that I also preach and write about adultery, laziness, pornography, and any number of other “issues” that I see as harmful and sinful.
However, many have forgotten to talk about the sinfulness of the action and they forget that you are a person who has emotions and who, ultimately, has an eternal soul. If I ever come across as hating you, I am not speaking as I should. I will be bold in what I say, but my hatred is for the devil and for sin, not for people.
I fear, however, that many on the other side of the issue are also losing touch with how to communicate. It has now seemingly become the “in” thing to berate “Bible-thumpers” as backward, bigoted, and as out to touch with reality. While those phrases may win points in the broader culture and may produce tweetable soundbites, they are not adding anything to a healthy conversation.
So, my friend, may I tell you first of all that I love you? You probably haven’t heard that from a Christian in awhile. You know me enough to know that I do not love–nor can I condone–what you are doing, but you have a soul that is headed for eternity just as I do. You and I were both created in the image of God, so I love that about you.
But you are my friend, so I love you enough to warn you about your actions. If you see me cheating on my wife, harming my children, or doing other immoral acts, I would pray that you love me enough as a friend to speak up. After all, I need all the help I can get to “walk the straight and narrow!”
That is all I am trying to do. God has clearly said that homosexuality is a sin, and that it will keep your soul from eternal bliss in heaven. I know you own a Bible, so would you take just a moment and see these verses for yourself? They are both in the New Testament, so we know they are for our day and time. Please put down this letter and carefully consider 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 and Revelation 21:8.
Notice that the first says that homosexuality can be forgiven and washed by the blood of Jesus, while the second states that those who are immoral sexually will be “outside” of heaven…not inside. Friend, I want to see you inside of heaven!
I am sorry that I have not spoken up sooner. In that way, I have not been a good friend. Surely, this is a hard letter for you to read, but trust me when I say, it was a hard one to write, as well. Some will say that I am being “too soft” and should berate you for your actions. I disagree with that attitude wholeheartedly. I will keep on preaching and teaching what the Bible says, but I will also continue to pray for your soul.
Others will say I am being too hard and close-minded and that homosexuality is no big deal any longer. If I am going to stand for the Bible as God’s Word to man, though, I can only speak from what it states.
Accept this letter thoughtfully. It has certainly been written thoughtfully. My prayers today are for you as you consider these things. Let us both vow to be open and clear in our communication. Let’s vow to keep both emotion and intelligence in the discussion.
And, no matter what, let’s vow to do whatever we must to go to heaven together. I want nothing more than to see you there, and that is why I wrote this letter.
Sincerely,
Adam
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Photo credit: Romtomtom on Creative Commons
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16 Comments
Ben Giselbach
This is written with the attitude of Jesus Christ! Thanks Adam!
HoosierRyno
Adam, I’m glad that you are my friend. You have articulated this in a way that I’ve always wanted to say it. Thank you brother! Ryan Scherer
Chris Clevenger
Very well written. Thanks for your work and your love.
Wes McAdams
Fantastic, brother! The church has got to take the high road – EXACTLY as you’ve done here! Well done, brother!
Fred Dominguez
Very well written, brother, and most of all, accurately written in the spirit of Christ. God bless you for all you do in His kingdom. (Your post was tweeted by Wes McAdams, who preaches where my son and daughter-in-law attend in Abilene, TX).
Adam Faughn
Thank you for reading and for taking the time to pass along the compliment. Good to have you reading!
Sheilah
Excellent article. I have several friends who are homosexual and I am very scared to tell them that I do not approve of their lifestyle. I know that being a homosexual is a sin but I just have not known how to present my thoughts to them. I plan on sharing this article with them. Thanks!
Adam Faughn
What amazing encouragement! I pray that your friends understand that you are just trying to look out for their soul.
Russell Frege
If the Bible said jump off a cliff would you do it? From my point of view, if the Bible says that my uncle is going to hell for marrying the love of his life, then that would be evidence against the claim that the Bible is the word of a loving God who wants us to be happy. It’s no different from if your preacher said “drink this poison koolaid”; you’d have to conclude based on your independent judgement that that preacher isn’t truly a man of God. Likewise, if an allegedly holy book says things that we can independently judge to be morally wrong then we have to conclude that the book is not divinely inspired. This, presumably, is how Christians conclude the Koran is not the word of God, because it says some morally wrong things about the treatment of women and other topics. However, consistency requires principled parity. Is eternal damnation a just punishment for a gay person who just wants to have a physically and emotionally fulfilling relationship with the person they love? I think if you start with your independent moral compassion and judgement, you’ll see that no one should be eternally tormented for something like that. So then the question is whether the “gays are damned” interpretation is the correct interpretation of scripture. I’ll leave that to you, but if it is then so much for scripture.
Shane Robinson
It is unfortunate you missed the entire point of this post. Yes, God wants us to live full lives and be happy but this is only accomplished through obeying His teachings in the New Testament. Full happiness is not found on earth but will be realized in heaven – a place where some will be excluded because they did not prepare to be there. No, gays are not damned (a sad label I must say). Those who practice homosexuality will not go to heaven unless they repent and turn to Jesus. The same thing is true of those who leave their wife for another woman and do not repent. Those who view pornograpy and do not repent. Those who have sex with someone they are not married to and do not repent. Homosexuality has many different physical, emotional, and relational problems that Adam did not mention. All of these areas could be addressed and proven to be more detrimental with homosexuals than heterosexuals but that still would not compare with what is most important – our eternal soul. What would it profit if we could gain the whole world and lose our own soul?
Russell Frege
Yeah, I understand your view, but I don’t think that there’s anything wrong at all with homosexuality. I think that’s where you’re failing to address my argument. If you’re right that scripture condemns it in anyway, even if short of damnation, then that’s an argument against scripture not against homosexuality. It’s exactly analogous to the argument that the Koran couldn’t be the word of God because of what it says about the role of women being subservient to men. If God exists, God is morally perfect not a sexist homophobic bigot. My gay uncles are really great people, living physically, emotionally, and spiritually fulfilled lives. There’s nothing wrong with that, at all. If you’re saying that I should throw out my independent moral and intellectual judgement out of concern for my eternal soul then we’re left with complete epistemic relativism because I would have no basis for choosing between the Bible, the Koran, the Upanishads, etc., etc.
Adam Faughn
Russell,
Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I wanted to wait until I had had time to think through your response and when I had the time to respond thoughtfully. These are obviously matters that mean a lot to both of us, but as I said in the article, we need to speak with intelligence as well as passion. I am thankful that you have done that in your reasoned response.
The comparison between the Bible and other sacred texts (i.e., the Koran) goes much deeper than just comparing moral codes. While this article did not address this subject specifically, I accept what the Bible teaches not just because “I like it” or because I think it has “better” morals (my quotes for emphasis, not quoting you). I accept the Bible because, after years of study–which continue daily–I am sure that it is the only divinely-inspired text. Other texts may make that claim, but the Bible has held up to deeper, harder, and stronger scrutiny than all the rest put together. (Again, that was not the emphasis of this article, but it must predispose the point of the post.)
With that said, if I believe the Bible to be divinely-inspired, then I must follow (and teach) what it states. It is not a matter of “I like it or I don’t.” Personally, I do like it, but that is not the point. There are, admittedly, commands I do not fully understand, and likely cannot fully understand. For instance, the New Testament teaches that when a person is baptized, he/she contacts the blood of Jesus and his/her sins are remitted (cf. Acts 2:38). I have no idea how that happens, but based on my faith in both God and His Word, I believe, obey, and teach that. Also, there are other commands that I wish were not there. Frankly, as a dad, the command found in Ephesians 6:4 for fathers to “train up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” frightens me to the core. It is a responsibility that I wish could be shifted somewhere else. However, if I am going to believe the Bible is from God, it is a command that–whether I like it or not–I must obey, or I will forfeit my eternal soul.
The same concept goes for things like homosexuality. I may personally like or not like it. In fact, the reason I wrote this post the way I did is because I DO have friends who are gay. We obviously do not agree on this issue, but we are friends. They know where I stand–they even know I have preached on this very subject–yet we can still converse and help one another.
That person being kind, nice, friendly, or even (to use your concept) “fulfilled” is really beside the point. The point is that the holy God, in his divinely-inspired revelation, has said that this lifestyle is sinful, and I must teach that, not because I necessarily like it, but because, after years of careful study, I believe in God and in His Word.
Again, I see that you are thinking about this issue logically, and for that I am truly grateful. You have brought up some very important issues. We cannot just take the issue of “I don’t like the morality of a book, therefore I’m not going to follow it,” though. We must read, study, and consider the historicity, theology, and reliability of any book that claims to be divinely inspired. If none are, we may live any way we choose. If several are, we could choose between them. But if, as I believe, only one is, we must take the whole of the book and follow it.
Pamela K. Purcell
I agree. This was a well written letter from the heart of a Christain. I do not think we should throw judgement to gays, but it is our duty as a Christain to let them know of God’s word about the subject. But we should do that in a way of love, not hate. Colossians 4: 6–Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. God is LOVE and God will judge each of us for our sins. Let us show love to everyone.
C.B. Frock
Russell, I appreciate your response, but it has left me with an interesting question that I hope you might be willing to address: To the extent that a man or woman believes something WILL make them happy, even such activities that society might consider to be “evil,” e.g., rape, murder, etc., is there anything of which God might disapprove and/or condemn?
April Kitchen
Thank you for saying what is so hard to say in such a loving way. I think you did something that many of us– I know it to be true of myself– have wanted to say and feared not been able to put into words because of the overwhelming acceptance that so many have given this practice. We all struggle with things that separate us from God. It’s the giving in and declaring God’s law unjust that so terrifies me for the the soul sake’s of my friends who have adopted homosexuality as a right. Shane– thank you for the reminder. If I gain the whole world, but lose my soul– what is the profit?
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