What’s Up With a Good Relationship?
Hopefully, all of us value the relationships we have with others. Whether we are talking about family, friends, neighbors, people at work, or other kinds of interactions we may have, a good, healthy relationship with others blesses us in so many ways.
I’ve been doing some thinking lately about how valuable these relationships are. I’ve also been thinking about how I can do what I can to enhance those relationships. You will probably be able to add to what I’ve come up with, but here are some things that I think are vitally important.
Wake up
I need to wake up to the value of the people who are dear to me. I need to realize how blessed I am and how there may be others who would desire to have the kind of relationships that I have. I also need to wake up to the fact that, other than my relationship with the Lord, all of these relationships are temporary. I do not need to take for granted the time I have with those whom I love and those who make my life better.
Speak up
You’ve probably heard the old joke about the wife who complained to her husband about the fact that he never told her that he loved her. According to the joke, his response was, “I told you that I loved you when I married you. If I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know.”
Sadly, to many people, that joke may not be funny at all. I need to communicate to those who mean a lot to me just how much they mean to me.
Shut up
No; I am not contradicting myself. I am not communicating only when I am talking. If I would ever learn to shut up and listen, I might learn that other people have ideas that are better than mine. I may learn a lot about “what makes people tick.” I might be surprised at how my world would open up if my mouth was closed up.
Rise up
Have you ever noticed what happens when a judge enters a courtroom or a president enters a room? Is it not true that everybody in attendance will stand/rise up? Isn’t it true that this is done to show respect?
While it may not be necessary or even possible for me to physically stand up each time, I’m in the presence of somebody who is dear to me. I need to look for ways to let that person know that I do, in fact, respect him or her.
Maybe I should even try physically rising up. It might mean more than I know.
Stand up
When my friend or loved one is all alone or in the minority and when he/she is right, I need to stand up with them. They will appreciate it more than I may ever know.
When that friend is wrong, even if he or she is in the majority, I need to have the courage to stand up to them. At the time, they may not appreciate it. In fact, that person may never fully appreciate it, but I can go to bed at night with the knowledge that I did the right thing.
If that friend is being cruelly and wrongfully attacked, I need to stand up for them. I need to be a Barnabas. He stood up for both Paul and Timothy. What an impact that had on the cause of Christ!
“Cough up”
I need to be willing to spend money on the people who are important to me. While this should not be seen as an “investment,” I might be surprised at the dividends that it pays.
Show up
As important as money and things may be, absolutely nothing can substitute for me “being there” for people. This is especially true when something of great significance happens in their lives. It does not cease to be true in the “everyday” events of life.
Presence is a lot more important than presents.
Put up
I’ve never met a person who thought and acted exactly like me. I’ve never met anybody who did not have a quirk, an idea, a preference, a habit, etc. that I didn’t understand or think to be a little strange.
Maybe I need to think of something while I’m trying to decide whether or not those things need to be the determining factors about whether or not I need to begin or continue a relationship with other people. Maybe I need to think about the fact that they may be trying to make the same decision about me!
It seems to me that a lot of relationship problems would not be problems if we could just learn to put up with one another.
Walk up
When was the last time I walked up to my spouse, a child, or somebody else I love and gave that person a hug or a kiss “just because.” That one seemingly little act may brighten their day more than I know.
Back up
Words are just that – words. Showing somebody how much they mean to you means a lot more than just telling them you do.
Own up/”fess up”/straighten up
When something goes wrong or is missing in a relationship, it could very well be the case that some or all of the fault lies with me. As difficult as it may be for me to accept that fact, I need to “own up” to that fact.
My Bible instructs me to “…confess your faults/sins to one another and pray for one another…” (James 5:16). Should that not apply to my relationships with my loved ones?
That same book, James, uses the example of a man looking into a mirror to let me know that I need to look into “the perfect law of liberty” with the intention of making whatever corrections are necessary in my life (cf. James 1:22-25).
Hold up
Above all else, I need to hold up God’s Word as the standard for the kind of person I am striving to be and the kind of relationship I should have with your loved one(s).
As I suggested earlier, these ideas are not intended to be “the final say” on this subject. You can probably add a lot to what I’ve written here.
I will have to admit, though, that the more I thought about this, the longer my list grew. As I sat down (more than once) to compose this list, my hope was that I might offer some suggestions that would help things look up for the relationships that all of us have.
Of course, my most earnest hope for you and for me is that things are looking up for the most important relationship we can ever have; a relationship with Jesus. I need to add one more thing. The guy who typed up all of this needs to work harder to try to live up to what he has written!
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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn
