Two Years of My Mentoring Group: What I’ve Learned
In 2013, I began meeting monthly with a wonderful group of young men in what I call a “mentoring group.” After just a handful of meetings, I knew this was something that I was going to really enjoy doing. In fact, after just three meetings, I blogged about it in a post called “Inside My Mentoring Group.”
Now, it has (almost) been two years. My 2014 group will be having our final meeting in early January, as my moving led to no available dates in December. Still, we are all committed to meeting for the final time and growing closer together.
After a great year with my 2013 group and 2014 group, I want to share some of what I have learned. Keep in mind that confidentiality is a key component of the mentoring program, so I will not be speaking to too many specifics. Still, there are several reasons why I hope to do this again in the future.
I have learned that men need the support of other Godly men. While society says that men are supposed to be self-starters and self-sustainers, we need others who can “hold our hands up” and with whom we can share both triumphs and struggles. The support these men have given each other–both in meetings and throughout the year–has been tremendous.
I have learned that some men open up faster than others. Some are just quieter, or less quick to share that dreaded word: “feelings.” Still, with the knowledge that confidence is real and that anyone can share anything and will not be slammed, each person has opened up over the course of the 12 months about various areas of life. It seems that this grows as the year goes along, and for that I am grateful.
I have learned that some think the preacher is perfect. I had one great young man say he was worried about what he was getting into, because it was “the preacher” who was doing this. After I admitted to weakness and we all laughed a few times together, though, he said that was his major takeaway: that the preacher isn’t perfect, but just another man striving to do his best.
I have learned that men will read…if the books are interesting. While the mentoring group is not a book club, we utilize books each month to lead our discussion. Some of the books have not been as appealing as others, but some have really gotten the attention of all of us. In year 2, I changed out a few of the books, simply because the ones that were used in the first year were not as good as I had thought they would be for this purpose. Below is a comparison of each year’s list of books (the links are to Amazon, if you wish to purchase any of the books).
| Month | 2013 | 2014 |
|---|---|---|
| January | Creating Your Personal Life Plan (Michael Hyatt) | Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood (Dennis Rainey) |
| February | Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood (Dennis Rainey) | The Conviction to Lead (Albert Mohler) |
| March | Who You are When No One's Looking (Bill Hybels) | Who You Are When No One's Looking (Bill Hybels) |
| April | When Work and Family Collide (Andy Stanley) | When Work and Family Collide (Andy Stanley) |
| May | Fighting For Your Marriage (Markman, Stanley, and Blumberg) | 7 Men and the Secret of Their Greatness (Eric Metaxes) |
| June | The Barnabas Factor (Aubrey Johnson) | The Barnabas Factor (Aubrey Johnson) |
| July | Sex is Not the Problem...Lust Is (Joshua Harris) | Sex is Not the Problem...Lust Is (Joshua Harris) |
| August | The Servant: A Simple Story about the Essence of True Leadership (James C. Hunter) | The Servant: A Simple Story about the Essence of Leadership (James C. Hunter) |
| September | Point Man (Steve Farrar) | Point Man (Steve Farrar) |
| October | The Power of Full Engagement (Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz) | Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success (John Maxwell) |
| November | Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men to Authentic Brotherhood (Nate Larkin) | The Power of Full Engagement (Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz) |
| December | Finishing Strong (Steve Farrar) | Finishing Strong (Steve Farrar) |
I have learned that I love these men, and they will do great things in this world for the Lord. Not all have the same talents, but these men want to serve the Lord. They want to honor their wives. They want to be godly dads. They want to be Christian businessmen, teachers, preachers.
And they will, because their desire to serve God is remarkable. They have shaped my life far more than I have shaped theirs. I am a better man for having been part of these groups. My plan is to take 2015 off, due to moving and not having the time to look for those who will be in the group, but also to think through the program again so that, should I take it up again in 2016, it is even better.
To the 9 men who have been part of the mentoring program so far, thank you. Now, go Finish Strong!
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