5 Love Languages … In the Church!

Recently, Leah and I completed reading Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages for our devotional together. It was a helpful read, and I think it has helped us understand each other better.

As I was reflecting on the book, though, something hit me. People express these love languages in more places than just in their homes. When they wish to express love, devotion, and concern, they are going to express that in their own love language.

That is true, even in the Church. Sometimes, we might wonder why an individual would be so devoted to one area of work, or would constantly be complimenting others. Could it be that this person is just expressing his love through his language? Let’s see together.

1. Words of Affirmation. This is the person that is constantly giving compliments. They meet you at the door and state that you look nice that morning. They are always near the preacher after services, pointing out the good job he did. They walk up to the kitchen at the fellowship meals and thank the ladies for getting everything ready. They desire these affirming words, so they give them. They want others to know that the efforts are not in vain. What a great gift!

2. Quality Time. How about those folks that sit in waiting rooms with a family who is apprehensive? Those who express love in “quality time” are the ones there. They may not do a lot of actions, or they may not bring food with them to the waiting room (or elsewhere), but they are spending their time with those who need it. They often engage in conversations, and help the time go by in meaningful ways. Again: what a great gift!

3. Receiving Gifts. Those who have this as a primary love language are often those who give gifts regularly, too. These are the folks who drop anonymous gift cards in the mail, or who send a gift basket to a widow or a family who has had a new baby. They may not be involved in a lot of action, but they are givers at heart. This is the older lady who gives a tired preacher $20 to take his wife out for lunch on Sunday, or who brings every little child a piece of gum each week at worship. Once more: what a gift!

4. Acts of Service. These are often the “behind the scenes” members. They clean the building, mow the yard, stock the pantry, send cards, take pies to neighbors, and do countless other things with the heart of a servant. They believe that love is an action, so they constantly are seeking ways to serve. They do not seek the limelight. Often, they are frustrated when the participation in a service project is not large, because they feel that these are how the Church really shows love. I’ll say it again: what a gift!

5. Physical Touch. These are the hand-shakers. The huggers. The back-patters. They believe that love is expressed through touching another in a world that lacks contact, so they seek ways to express that. In a world that is physically disconnected (or worse, that only has improper touching), they connect in a special way with many folks. One final time: what a gift!

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Does your congregation have all five of these? Be thankful!

Also, though, be careful not to only emphasize one of these as important. All are important, and all are ways of expressing the love of Christ to a world that lacks love.

Finally, make sure you express love to each of these groups. You have a primary love language, too, but you must be cognizant that others feel loved through different  means of expression.