A Bad Marriage is Overlaid with Good Intentions

Okay, so the title of this post isn’t as catchy as “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” but it gets the point across.

It is easy for a marriage to have a shiny exterior, where everyone on the outside thinks things are just fine. Under the smiles, though, there is rottenness and bitterness at every turn.

Your marriage may not be that negative, but it could be headed that way. How? Too often we can talk about what we “intend” to do with our spouse, but we don’t do it. All those intentions, without action, could be rotting the inner strength of the relationship.

Now, I’m not talking about something that costs a ton of money, or that both of you know you simply cannot do in this season of life.

Instead, I’m just talking about some fairly simple things, but ones that so often get pushed down the road out of a time-crunch, disinterest, or a simple lack of care.

What would be some of those things?

I know I should take my wife out on a date, but we’ll get to it one of these days. Right now, we’re just too busy.

We have talked about going on a marriage retreat with the church group, just for a tune-up, but that’s for people who really need help.

It’s been a long time since I cooked his favorite meal “just because,” but it takes so much effort to put that meal together.

My son has a dozen ball games this season. I’ll get to one eventually.

I’ve got all the time in the world to go on a date with my daughter.

I know he likes it when I wear that to bed, but I’m just so tired at the end of the day.

We would start family devotionals, but we take the kids to church. Isn’t that enough?

She knows I still love her. I don’t see the use in getting her flowers (or a candy bar, cup of coffee, etc.) so often. After all, we’re trying to pinch our pennies.

Do you see how these things are not “big” items, but how they can reveal an inner problem in the marriage? We’d like to do them…sometime. We’ll get to it…someday. It’d be nice to…but…

And all the while, our marriage is not as strong as it should be, and we can’t figure out why.

Let’s quit having good intentions, and let’s do something! Show her you don’t just intend on doing something for her, but that you are doing something for her. Show your children your love and care by actually doing something with them. Show your husband your respect for him by doing something you’ve intended to do, but haven’t done.

It may not seem like a big deal, but it will help your marriage not just look good from the outside. It will help the inside of your home be truly strong.

QUESTION: What’s something you need to quit “intending” to do and start doing? Share in the comments!

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Photo credit: Courtney Dirks on Creative Commons

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