How Christians Can Destroy Traditional Marriage Without Supporting Gay Marriage

Yesterday, we looked at how some of the language used by those in favor of gay marriage betrays at least part of their agenda. However, gay marriage is not the only issue we need to consider.

And those who support homosexual marriage are not the only people we need to think about, either. It is possible that Christians can (and, in part, have) led us to this point in our nation.

Now, before you get too angry, take a look at the title of this post again. I am not saying that you support gay marriage. I would venture to say that 90% of our regular readers (if not nearly 100%) do not support homosexual unions. Many of you are, as I am, staunchly opposed not only to homosexual marriage, but to the homosexual lifestyle in general.

However, what we are seeing in our society is not just the push for gay marriage. What we are seeing is a total redefinition of the idea of traditional, God-directed marriage.

And even Christians have contributed to that.

How?

For too long, we have said that God’s view of marriage is “one man and one woman for life.” What’s wrong with that? It is an incomplete description of God’s ideal. Of course, we know that the New Testament teaches that a man is to marry a woman and that they are to remain married for life, but that’s not the totality of God’s design nor His desire.

Instead of oversimplifying things to “one man and one woman for life,” we need to say what the Bible actually says. God’s view of marriage is “one Christ-like, loving, and servant-leader man, and one church-like, respecting, and submissive godly woman who have left father and mother, are cleaving to one another, and committed to the one flesh picture for an ever-maturing lifetime, to the glory of God.”

Now, that may not roll off the tongue as easily as the shortened version, but it also does not provide us an open door to destroy marriage.

What do I mean? Far too many, even in the Church, see marriage just as a lifelong “thing.” It’s not all that special, other than it just lasts a long time. If we do not present the full picture to the world, we are helping to pull away at the very fabric of God’s traditional view of marriage.

Any time I make fun of my wife and act like wives are just all overbearing, I am not loving my wife, so I am not not giving a godly picture of marriage.

Any time I participate in a gossip-fest where husbands are the subject of all the jokes, I am not respecting him, so I am not supporting God’s view of marriage.

When I leave divorce out there as an option, just in case we can’t make things work, I am not truly committed to the union, so I am not supporting traditional marriage.

When I let my mind wander to other people (whether in real life or online or a move star), to whom I am not married, and begin to fantasize about them, I am not honoring the “one flesh” relationship that is part of God’s view of marriage.

When I am not sure I would sacrifice even my own life for my wife, I am not loving her as Christ loved the Church, so I am not upholding God’s standard.

When a wife says (or thinks), “I’ll respect him, but only when he deserves it,” she is not doing as God said in Ephesians 5:33 (there are not qualifiers on either the husband’s love for his wife or a wife’s respect for her husband!), so she is not upholding God’s view of marriage.

When my marriage becomes secondary–either in action or in attitude–to my pursuit of money, leisure, or time with other friends, I am not placing the value on marriage that God does.

…and we could go on.

You see, with each of these things that we might consider “small” in comparison to gay marriage, we have make a small pull or tear in the fabric of what marriage really is in God’s sight. We may think we are just kidding around with the gals, or just looking at a little pornography like every guy does, or just enjoying something else in life right now. In reality, we are chipping away at the pillars of a God-instituted and God-directed institution, and our nation is reaping the whirlwind of our “small” decisions. We can shout from the hilltops that those who desire homosexual marriage are only striving to have society sanction their fleshly and selfish desires. That may be true, but any time (any time) I deviate from God’s standard for my own marriage, I am also displaying my own selfishness.

Let’s not just oppose the sin and threat of gay marriage. Let’s be sure we devote ourselves fully to the strong and perfect standard that God has for marriage. Only when we do that to the best of our ability can we say that we are really upholding traditional marriage. And only then is God truly glorified in our home.

QUESTION: What are some suggestions to remain fully committed to God’s true standard for marriage?

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Photo credit: Jiaren Lau on Creative Commons

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