Fathers, Remember… (originally published September 29)

Any of you who have preached have had this experience before. If you are trying to preach “the whole counsel of God,” then you have to preach about things that you have never, personally, experienced before.

Nearly every young preacher has felt compelled to preach on the home. When you do not have children, you can get “that” look or certain comments like, “Just wait until you have children.” People just do not seem to respect the lesson as much from a source without practical experience. However, if we are preaching God’s Word, then we still have the obligation to put the truth out there.

When I have preached on parent-child relationships, I have just been honest about the fact that I have not had children. Usually I say something like this: “I know that I do not have experience as a father. I do, however, remember what it was like to be the child, so let me speak from that perspective.” I have been told more than once that my honesty, as well as my approach, was appreciated.

However, as you know, that is about to change. Leah and I are expecting to adopt a child quite soon. If the Lord wills, we will be parents in just a matter of days. With that dominating my thinking, I have tried to notice some things about “fathering” that I need to keep in mind.

Recently, I was reading the book David: A Story of Passion and Destiny by Charles R. Swindoll. [Incidentally, the book is from the 7-volume “Great Lives from God’s Word” series, which I plan to review on this blog in just a few days.] I was reading in the chapter that dealt with David’s relationship with his son Absolom. That son was the rebellious one of the lot, but it was not all his fault. While David was a great man, he had many faults. Sometimes we might think that David’s only major flaw was his sin with Bathsheba and the sins to which that led.

That is simply not true. David also, to be blunt, failed as a parent. Solomon grew up to be mostly good, but it was not all because of his upbringing. Absolom rebelled, and we do not know about all of David’s children. But why did Absolom rebel? Some of the reason could have been because David neglected him. Swindoll puts it this way on page 223, “To everyone else, David was king. To Absolom, David was dad.”

Wow. Does that sends chills up your spine? It did mine. I might have dreams of being a “great” preacher (whatever that means). Some might have dreams of being the best in their chosen profession. We might be chasing a pot of gold or a huge promotion. But, to those little gifts from God, we are still D.A.D.D.Y.

One a sitcom, a father was trying to write a great “hit” song. He and his wife were expecting twins. Experiencing “writer’s cramp,” he took a break and went to a local diner. Inside, he let it all out to a total stranger. He told the stranger that he wanted his kids to see gold records on the wall. The stranger replied with words somewhat like these: “Babies don’t care about gold records. They care that they’re daddy loves them and cares for them. You’re out chasing your pot of gold and you’ve forgotten what’s really important in life.” Pretty sound advice…for Full House.

Maybe that’s one lesson David should have learned. He was a very good king. The land controlled by Israel grew about 10-fold while he was in the throne. Many religious reforms were made, including the thoughts of a temple. The Ark of the Covenant was returned to Jerusalem. However, while running the country well, he forgot what was truly important. He forgot to make sure “the young man Absolom [was] safe.” May we learn from his tragic mistake.