Fighting for Your Marriage Sometimes Means Fighting Yourself

We often hear people talking about “fighting for your marriage.” What is typically meant by that is a willingness to do something vital like going to counseling or even moving to get away from a dangerous situation. It usually means that we are willing to do something that is uncomfortable because we know the marriage is worth it.

However, too often, one partner is not willing to fight himself/herself to save a marriage. Or, at least, that partner is not willing to fight all the way through.

To save a marriage, anything that is standing in the way of a strong marriage should be on the table. For example, if one partner struggles with online activities–whether pornography or chatting with old flames–then cutting off the internet completely, though it may seem like an extreme solution, should be a viable option.

Or if one partner feels that the other is too engrossed in a hobby–maybe it is watching TV or sewing–then ridding ourselves of that entire hobby is a viable option.

Sound extreme? Sound like “too much?” Then the enemy to your marriage may just be the person you see when you look in the mirror.

When you got married you took vows. If they were traditional vows, you likely said something along the lines of “forsaking all others.” That was then followed by something about keeping yourself for this person and this person only.

Did you mean that or not?

“Well, but he…” “Yeah, but she…”

No…did YOU mean those vows or not?

Are you willing to forsake anyone or anything else that competes for the attention of your spouse? Are you willing to fight yourself to save your marriage, with no excuses?

It may mean you have to do something embarrassing. It may mean you have to make major changes. It may take a long, long time to rebuild trust.

But it is worth it, because marriage is worth fighting for. And that sometimes means fighting against yourself. Are you willing to fight for your marriage?

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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn