How (Not) to Accept Thanks
Considering the name of tomorrow’s holiday includes the word “giving,” it is only fitting that we spend the vast majority of our time in this season thinking about how we should be giving thanks, ultimately to God, but also to other people. Sometimes we struggle to show gratitude, so these reminders are necessary and helpful.
That said, is it not also true that we sometimes struggle to appropriately be the recipient of thanks? When someone gives us a heartfelt “thank you,” we can often respond in ways that do not truly accept the thanks and, if we are not careful, can even be off-putting to the one who has shown humility and gratitude toward us.
So, here are some ways NOT to accept thanks.
Downplay What You Did. When someone thanks you for something, too many of us turn around say something like, “Oh, it was no big deal.” Or we start off with, “Well, I just had that lying around, so I didn’t mind giving it to you.” To the recipient, though, whatever you did was a blessing. Don’t downplay it!
Say, “No Problem.” This is the one I have to work on the most. Saying “no problem” could imply that, if something were a bit taxing, we might not be willing to help! It could imply that we only do something for someone else when it fits our schedule, budget, and abilities; not when it might stretch us a bit.
Deflect to Someone Else. I am not saying we should avoid giving credit where it is due, but if someone is thanking you, they have your part in that act in mind. But we are quick to say, “Well, so-and-so really was the driving force.” That may or may not be true, but this person is thanking you for what you did.
Be Insincere in Accepting Gratitude. If you are not actually encouraged, humbled, or grateful for the thanks that someone is showing you, do not feign sincerity. Such is hypocrisy.
So, if those things are impractical and, possibly, hurtful toward the one who has said “thank you,” then how can we possibly respond properly?
Here’s a profound thought: go back to your basic manners and say, “You’re welcome.”
That’s enough! It shows a sincere acceptable of the gratitude. It states that this person is welcome in your life and that your act of kindness was an extension of that welcome. And, simply put, it is universally seen as respectful.
Sometimes, we try to overthink how to respond. Instead, “you’re welcome” really is enough. If you don’t believe me, just consider how you feel when someone sincerely gives you that response for some act of kindness done for them. See…it is enough, isn’t it?
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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn
