I Am An Elder’s Wife
It happened again Sunday morning as soon as we arrived at the church building. We are always among the first to arrive at the building. Our sound room man asked Jim about his PowerPoint for his Bible class that morning. As Jim headed for the sound room, one of our deacons called out to him from the other end of the auditorium with a question. I saw it once again with my own two eyes – he was being pulled in two different directions while his mind was on the material he would soon be teaching in the auditorium.
May I share with you what it is like to be married to a man who is constantly being pulled in many different directions when he is simply trying to care for the souls of the members of the congregation? The above example is just a drop in the bucket!
Here is just some of what I see:
- I see a man who spends countless hours studying and thinking about what would be best for these people he loves so much.
- I see frustration when he sees members of his flock arguing with one another on social media, posting worldly pictures, or joining worldly groups that divide us when we are supposed to be joined together in Christ.
- I see the hurt he feels (yes, elders do have feelings) when, rather than coming to talk to him (and the other elders), members grumble and belittle the elders for decisions they have made.
- I see the stress of knowing that no matter what decision is made concerning an earthly matter (for example, wearing masks or not wearing masks), he will be criticized and see the division in the congregation.
- I see a man who carries information in his mind about people that he can never share with anyone, not even his wife, because he made a promise to be faithful to his word. He keeps his promises.
- I see tears stream down his face and sleepless nights when he feels that all he can do is pray for those who refuse to listen to God and His word.
- I see the concern about having younger men who are preparing themselves for the eldership. He has to wonder why they would want to place themselves in this position.
But…
- I also see a man who meets the qualities given in Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 3 which an elder must possess.
- I see a man who isn’t perfect because he is human, but who gives his all to be a servant of the Lord.
- I see a man who loves young people, and old people, and all those in between. He never meets a stranger.
- I see the man I love being both joy-filled and sorrow-filled, sometimes in the very same day.
I could go on and on with both of these lists, but I think you get the picture.
I hope you will forgive me for the personal nature of this post, but I feel as though I am speaking for many women out there who are also elders’ (deacons’/preachers’) wives.
God blessed me with a godly man in my life and I feel honored to be by his side as an elder’s wife.
It is my prayer that all of us (young and old) will look deeply into our hearts and examine our feelings and treatment of those men who serve God in this role.
“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning…” (Hebrews 13:17)
AUTHOR: Donna Faughn
