If You Think You Have Nothing in Common with Your Fellow Christians
It was, in many ways, a heartbreaking conversation. There were issues, to be sure. And some of those issues were heart-wrenching.
The conversation was one I had with a Christian lady. She just needed to talk about some things going on with her and her family, and I was glad she felt as if she could trust me to listen and, maybe, offer some advice. Some of the conversation included some things I was expecting, but at least one aspect of what she shared I was not ready for.
Still, as she spoke about her relationships (family, friends, and so on), there was an undercurrent that I could not quite figure out for a while. There had to be a common thread (at least one), but I am not a trained counselor, and I sometimes struggle to really hear the issue.
Then, as she spoke of her Christian family, she said what broke my heart. After describing some of her problems with people at her local congregation, she said, “They don’t know what I’ve been through.”
While you may have thought that before, let me just say that what this lady has been through is a lot; a lot of heartbreak; a lot of stress; a lot of junk!
But I pushed back just a little bit. With her permission, I asked, “Can I push back on that just a little bit?” She, very kindly, said, “Yes, sure.”
I said something to this effect: “It is true that no one there knows exactly what you are going through or have been through, but here’s the thing: you don’t know what each of them has gone through, either.”
And then I said, “We all have one thing in common: we all have scars.”
You may think you are the only one at your congregation who has a certain issue, or who is in a certain stage of life, or who has been through a certain struggle. And that may actually be the case. For example, you may be the only single mom at a small congregation. Or you may be the only one in your congregation who has left a same-sex lifestyle. Or you may feel like the only teenager in a church full of old folks. You may be the only person at church who goes to your school, or who is homeschooled, and you feel alone.
And any of those things–or any number of others–could be true. But it is also true that there is not another person sitting in those pews who does not have a struggle, or who has not faced things you will never fully understand in their past. We all have scars.
I’m not saying that we should go around only talking about what is bad in our lives or how awful we have had it in the past. Sometimes, if we are not careful, we can become a group of people who just talks about the bad stuff.
But I am saying that we should also not run away from those things that have hurt us in the past, but through which God has helped us grow. Nor should we act as if we always have it all together in the present, when, in fact, we are struggling with the stresses and difficulties of life.
God’s people have the abundant life (John 10:10), but it is not free of difficulty. So why, so often, do we try to hide the fact that there are struggles in our past, or that we are facing heartache in the present? Why do we hide our scars?
Because those scars are one of the main things we have in common. We all have them.
Oh, but we also share that God and His people have helped us through those times before…and will again…if we will just not be afraid to admit when we struggle.
You have that in common.
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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn
