It’s Not Just about Coaching Styles
A recent conversation about a couple of basketball coaches made me do some thinking. It didn’t take long for my thinking to go way beyond college basketball. I started thinking about how parents relate to their children, how elders and preachers relate to the congregations they serve, how bosses relate to employees, etc.
As I thought about all of that, I began to realize that some individuals who are in positions of some authority focus on mistakes. The emphasis seems to be on what was done wrong, how someone didn’t live up to expectations, etc. A great deal of emphasis is put on things done, not done, or not done correctly.
Others in leadership positions seem to focus on improvement. They want those under their supervision to see how they can be better and do better. Obviously, mistakes and shortcomings must be dealt with, but the focus is on the future.
I’m not sure that anybody would choose to be constantly beaten down by a coach, a preacher, elders, a parent, a boss, or anybody else. I can see this kind of “leadership” causing some people to quit even trying to live up to what they may view as unrealistic expectations. They may develop the attitude that they will never be – and can never be – any better than they are.
Being resigned to failure or mediocrity is not the only possible negative outcome. This type of “leadership style” can – and all too often does – lead to rebellion.
Thankfully, I can see another scenario. I can see a leader who understands the necessity of correction, but who combines that with instilling confidence and the skills to improve. I can see words like “appreciation,” “respect,” and maybe even “love” used to describe how those under his authority relate to him.
For some reason, when all of this started swirling around in my head, my mind went back over two thousand years to a well in Samaria. You can read about an incident that occurred there in the fourth chapter of John.
There was some real criticism that Jesus could have leveled at a woman He met at that well one day. He did, in fact, let her know that he was very well aware of her shortcomings.
The Lord did not, however, dwell on that. Instead of spending His time demeaning her for how she was living, He gave her hope for a better future. Along with that, there were subtle suggestions of confidence and support when He told her that she needed to change her lifestyle. I can almost imagine the woman thinking something like:
“A lot of people are critical of me and how I live. I’ve learned to live with that. Jesus is the first person I’ve ever met who believes that I can be a better person. I think that, from now on, I want to live for Him.”
None of us needs or appreciates people yelling at us all of the time. All of us need and appreciate words of encouragement.
As much as it may be difficult to believe, all of us have somebody looking to us as a leader to some degree and in some way. This is true whether or not an “official title” is worn. That prompts me to ask this question:
When was the last time you (I) helped to pick somebody up
instead of beating them down or letting them stay where they were?
AUTHOR: Jim Faughn