An Odd Reason Why We’ve Stayed at Lebanon Road

We love Lebanon Road! Working with this congregation is a joy for which we are thankful on a daily basis. We never feel like some sort of “outsiders” or “hired hands.” We are part of the family, and for that we are so grateful.

As the month of December comes closer, we are nearing 6 years since we agreed to work here, and the end of March will mark the beginning of year 7 working with these great people. There are so many reasons why we have stayed at Lebanon Road, but I was reminded of one yesterday that may seem a bit odd.

Grief.

Let me explain that. My phone rang early yesterday afternoon, and it was someone who very rarely calls. As soon as the conversation started, I knew where it was going. One of our sweet ladies, a widow we all loved, had passed away. She had been quite ill for several days, and the news was not a total shock, but it still was not expected right then.

I have no idea how many times I have visited her in her home. She was Turner’s favorite widow to visit (partially because she always had candy), and he always asked if we were going to her house. I have never heard a single person say anything negative about her.

So, when I I heard that she had passed, it hit me pretty hard. I cried for a moment, then went upstairs to break the news to the kids. They both cried, too, because they loved her dearly. As I write these words, the hurt is real, because she meant a lot to me and to my family.

That pain, though, is not completely a bad thing. As we were talking yesterday, I told Leah, “We’ve been at Lebanon Road long enough that these are getting harder.” What I was trying to say was that, we know people so much better now. We are invested in their lives, and they are in ours, too. We know them quite well, and have tried to be family to them through Christ.

In reality, it isn’t “grief” as a reason per se, but it is the connection as a family, which sometimes leads to hearts that are grieving.

A few years ago, deaths happened and they were not easy. Now, they are downright hard, because the grief is real. A member of the family has died, and there is a true sense of loss.

I’m writing this post to encourage us all.

Preachers, stay where you are if you can. There is no “magic number” of years that are the right length to stay at a congregation, but if you are moving at the first sign of difficulty or pain, you will not be as effective as you can be.

Members, treat the preacher and his family (if he has one) as part of your family. Don’t just assume he’ll be there a couple of years then move on, even if that is the pattern in recent years where you are. Let him into your lives, and try to make him feel like just another part of the congregation. You will reap the benefits if you do.

Elders, support your preacher in every way you can. He struggles at times, too. The longer he is at a congregation and involved in the lives of members, the more funerals and other difficult times are going to hurt. He can preach the service, but a pat on the back or card could make all the difference in the world.

Of course, I don’t want to grieve all the time. I am thankful, however, that we have been at Lebanon Road long enough where it is part of our lives, because we love the people so much. It’s just part of what really being a church family involves.

QUESTION: What are some ways a congregation can reinforce that “family” feeling? Leave your suggestions in the comments below.

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Photo credit: Jenifer Williams on Creative Commons

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