One Major Problem with Social Media (and How to Work on It)
Social media, like so many other things, is not good or bad. As is often pointed out, it is all in how you choose to utilize this tool. It can be used for a lot of good (such as sharing this article with others…hint, hint), but we also know there is a great deal of bad to be found there.
This post is not about the bad that is on social media. Instead, it is about a problem with how too many people consume social media, and a major problem it leads to.
It is this: you are comparing yourself to someone else’s highlight reel.
How many people scroll through all those smiling pictures and then wonder why their life is not like that? How come they don’t take vacations like this family? How come their hair isn’t always as perfect as that person’s? How come, as a preacher, I didn’t baptize someone today like that other preacher did? How come my kids aren’t getting rewards like that family’s kids are?
And on and on and on it goes.
And here’s the problem: we are not just comparing ourselves to one person, we are seeing the “best of” for every connection we have on social media, so we start comparing our lives to the ultimate highlight reel. How can we ever compare? We can’t; so, we start to feel badly about ourselves and our own lives.
You don’t see the negatives. Oh, we may joke about them sometimes on Facebook or Twitter, but we will only show filtered perfect pictures of our lives on Instagram, so you don’t think the negatives are who we really are.
You didn’t see when my wife and I were mad at each other (again) for running late to church.
You didn’t see when we told our kids to clean their rooms…for about the 6th time that day.
You didn’t see when we wondered if we would ever get out of debt, again.
You didn’t see when I cried like a baby because I felt like a complete failure as a preacher.
All those really have happened in our lives, and none in the distant past. But there are no photos on Facebook or Instagram of those things. Instead, we do what others do: we get cleaned up, smile, and take a picture. And then people wonder why they don’t have our lives.
See…we all have the same issue!
So, how can we work on it?
Turn Off Social Media (at least temporarily). I know, I know. You might need to buy an oxygen tank first, so you can breathe. But do you remember how you felt before you started comparing yourself to everyone else’s highlight reel? Maybe it is time that you took a few days off, or at least limited yourself to just 15 or 20 minutes a day on social media. Try it for a week, and just see if you don’t feel better about your own life.
Pray for Forgiveness. What, forgiveness? For what? If you are honest, there is probably some jealousy that has reared its ugly head in your heart, and maybe envy is there, too. Coveteousness could also be lurking in your soul, and there might be some bitterness taking root because your life isn’t what Facebook says it should be. You need to ask God to forgive you of these sins of the heart and then feel the freedom it brings.
Compliment Yourself. I’m not suggesting you get arrogant or filled with pride, but it is possible you have basically forgotten that you do some things well. No, you may not have perfect hair like her or be able to preach exactly like him or go on the same vacations as that family, but you have talents and abilities and good things. The meal you made last night may not make the Food Network, but it was a healthy meal made with love for your family. You may not be in the best of shape, but you have a healthy body given to you by God. Your family may not be prim and proper all day every day, but there are lots of hugs because you lead a loving home. These are worth celebrating!
Remember What Really Brings You Joy. That Bible that’s been collecting dust? Maybe it is time you picked it up again. Do you remember how you felt when you used to gain encouragement just from reading a handful of verses? When you stop spending so much of your time comparing yourself to everyone
Leah and I have talked about this issue on our podcast often, because we feel it is a major problem for people, and we admit that we struggle with it, as well. But God gave you a life to live, and there are blessings to be found in it. Enjoy and be happy for those who have good things and share them on social media, but stop the comparison game and enjoy the life He has given you.
After all, someone out there probably wishes they had your life, too.
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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn
