Preachers Are People, Too [Repost]
The following post is the first “rerun” I can remember doing for A Legacy of Faith. The reason that I am doing this has to do with a conversation I had recently while attending Polishing the Pulpit. A brother asked me to send him a copy of this post, but I couldn’t find it at the time. When I did find the post, I could no longer find him and I had no contact information for him.
One of the reasons that I couldn’t find the post was that it was written far enough in the past that I was still preaching “full time” when I wrote it. While that is no longer true with regard to me, there are countless other preachers who could write something very, very similar to this.
I decided that one way to honor the brother’s request and to be a sort of spokesman for those who are still “in the trenches” was to “rerun” it here. It is my prayer that those who read it will find it helpful.
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That title might come as a shock to some. It might cause some curiosity in others. They may be wondering what kind of sin or weakness is about to be disclosed.
At the moment, I’m not thinking about weaknesses (although I have plenty), nor am I planning on providing any headlines for the next issue of The National Enquirer or even “inquiring minds” on a more local level. That is not what this is all about.
What this is about is the fact that, while this may surprise some, preachers have emotions just like everybody else. The difference is that, while we experience all of the emotions of others, there are some we are hesitant to express.
It is fine to express joy, happiness, excitement, and other “positive” feelings. Not only is it admissible for us to express them, it is expected by those around us. This type of attitude in preachers is seen as healthy. It is also seen as a way we can encourage others. It helps to see an “upbeat” preacher. It helps others to be upbeat as well.
However, where does a preacher go when he is discouraged, depressed, or sad? Where does he go when he’d like to just lay his head on somebody’s shoulder and cry because of the loss of somebody very dear to him?
As some of you know, a man who was my coworker, friend, mentor, and brother in the Lord passed away recently. It was both an honor and a challenge for me to be asked to speak during his funeral service.
I was the one asked to say something that would honor a man whom I admired greatly and I miss terribly. At the same time, I wanted to do what his family and others close to him had the “luxury” of doing–sit, remember, reflect, appreciate, and cry. I wanted to let the tears stream down my face and to not be ashamed of that.
That was not my “role” on this day, though. It was up to me to “hold it together” enough to try to comfort others. Although I choked up a couple of times, I managed to do that for the most part, I think.
Fortunately, God blessed me with a wife who, when I first shared the news of my friend’s death with her, just put her arms around me, let me lay my head on her shoulder and cry. There were no words spoken for a while. She knew; I knew that she knew; and that was all that mattered right then.
However, there were others who, at least for a while, had no idea what I was experiencing.
The person on whom I’d pulled a practical joke shortly before I learned of my brother’s death, expected me to laugh when she saw me. I laughed.
The person on the phone shortly after I received the news who “needed somebody to talk to” expected me to listen. I listened.
The people who were going to be in the Bible class I was to teach on the night following the death expected me to be prepared. I was (I think).
Various people in various situations expected me to be “the same old Jim” they knew. I tried.
You have no idea how I pray that these words are not seen as self-serving. I’m just hoping that those who read this will allow their preachers to “be human.” We are. Sometimes, we are more human than we’d like to admit–even to ourselves.
If you’ve ever cried on the shoulder of your preacher, why not let him know that he can feel free to dampen your shoulder if he needs to? There may be times when he needs to know that somebody along with his wife understands and cares.
Have you ever asked your preacher to listen to you as you share your innermost struggles, fears, and shortcomings? Have you (correctly) assumed that this would take place without him judging you or sharing your information with others? Have you ever thought about providing him with that same environment giving him that same opportunity?
I fully understand that I am removing the following verse from its context, but I think there is something to be considered by doing so. You may remember that, when Paul and Barnabas were considered by some to be gods, part of their response to that was, “…We are also men of the same nature as you…” (Acts 14:15 NASV).
I know the guy I see in the mirror every morning. I know that he would tell you, “Preachers are people, too.”
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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn