Purity Week Post #4 : 5 Do’s of Marital Intimacy
Welcome to “Purity Week.” Our goal for this week is to share with you four posts that deal with sexuality and purity.
Here are the previous posts: #1 “Ivory Soap Isn’t Good Enough
#3: 5 Don’ts of Marital Intimacy
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Yesterday, we continued to talk about some things not to do concerning purity, but we want to end this special week of posts by sharing some things to do. As we mentioned yesterday, these are reserved by our Lord for marriage, but within the confines of marriage, the sexual relationship is to be enjoyed. It is an expression of love, commitment, and passion, and when expressed in a wholesome way between husband and wife, it is a wonderful gift from God.
So, how can a husband and wife make the most of this part of their marriage? Here are five “do’s.”
1. Do Flirt. Kevin Leman’s book title states it best: Sex Begins in the Kitchen [affiliate link]. Far too many couples get married and then think that the sexual relationship should “just happen.” You still need to wink, hold hands, leave little “hints,” and do other things that express your desire to be with your spouse. While sexual intimacy is not always the result of this flirting (nor should it always be), the sexual component of marriage will occur more often and in a more enjoyable way for both husband and wife if there has been flirting throughout the day.
2. Do Enjoy Intimacy Often. While sex is only part of the marriage relationship, it needs to be a regular part because of what it represents. As we have said, it is an expression of love, commitment, and passion, and in some respects, it is the strongest expression. That being true, it should be something that couples strive to express often.
3. Do Be Selfless. Our culture feeds us messages of “getting sex.” It is all about me and what I “get.” No matter what we are doing, a Christian should be selfless, not selfish. I should want to serve my wife and bring her joy, even as it pertains to sexual intimacy. This one decision by both husband and wife will transform your sexual relationship, because it changes the dynamic from “what can I get” to “how can I express my appreciation.”
4. Do Communicate about Sex. Be honest about how “often” is “often.” Be open about things that make you uncomfortable. Yes, it might be a bit of an awkward conversation (especially if you are admitting that something makes you uncomfortable), but communication will make all the difference in truly bringing enjoyment to this component of the marriage relationship.
5. Do Thank God. The sexual relationship is a gift from the Lord. He designed it, and He brings couples together in the expressive joy of this part of their marriage. It is a wonderful gift, and we need to thank Him for it.
Obviously, these are general guidelines, but I chose these five “Do’s” because it seems that many couples struggle with them. If husbands and wives can begin to do these five things, it will improve not just the sexual part of their marriage, but their marriage as a whole, and that to the glory of God.
QUESTIONS: What other “Do’s” would you suggest? What have been your thoughts to Purity Week? Share in the comments!
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Photo credit: tourist_on_earth on Creative Commons
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