Should You Spank Your Children?

It is amazing how the order of words in a sentence can change a statement. What if the title of this article was changed by a slight adjustment in the first two words? It would read, “You should spank your children.”

Certainly if that was the title, more people would be tempted to keep reading. But we are not interested in some flamboyant ploy, or a persuasive human opinion, or a controversial platform. We are interested in truth. Let’s just answer the question: Should parents spank their children as a means of discipline?

The fact that we are even having this conversation goes to show that we are a far cry from where we were a generation ago. My dad used a razor strap. Most of the older generations got to pick their own switch. Sometimes it was a ping-pong paddle or a clothes hanger or a wooden spoon or just a hand – whatever was available. I was spanked regularly for the majority of my developmental years. Many of you out there could say the same. I am sure thankful my parents did so. I was willful and sinful and I needed well-defined boundaries established in my life.

Before we go any further we need to recognize that any form of discipline can lead to abuse. Children who are never touched could still be locked in closets, disallowed access to food and water and shelter, or verbally and mentally abused. There is also no doubt that any physical form of discipline can be taken too far. In 1979, Sweden was the first country to pass a law that forbids any type of physical corporal punishment from parent to child. The last time I was in New Zealand, I was informed of the “No smacking” law – their terminology for the same type of legislation. These laws were incorporated to curtail the rampant child abuse that once existed in these countries. The legislation includes some discretion on the part of law enforcement as to how these laws are interpreted and prosecuted on a case to case basis. Certainly for the safety of children some of these laws can serve a protective purpose.

So there I was Friday night at the Redbox in front of Walgreens when my 8-year-old had a meltdown. She had been going that direction for a few hours (parents you know what I mean). She was begging for some form of readjustment. Right on the spot I gave her a couple swats on the backside. She immediately responded with silence and calmed down. I was confident in the decision I made but also reflective as we drove home of how that might be interpreted by any onlooker. We have always spanked our three children when it was necessary. We have never wanted to. We have never enjoyed it. And we have never failed to explain it or follow it up with teaching and a confirmation of our love for each one of them.

I want to be blunt. I don’t need a twenty-first-century child psychologist to tell me how to raise my children. I am worn out with that stuff. I need my heavenly Father. I need His word. He created us, and he knows what is best for us. He knows how to discipline us. And although there are many forms of punishment, and not all work the same with every child, spanking is not only an option, it is a commandment. And my job as a parent is to do whatever it takes to help my child to respect authority and acquire a healthy fear of the Lord. Children MUST accept correction and understand healthy boundaries if they are to successfully follow God and bless others in this world.

God’s word tells us that if we do not receive our heavenly Father’s chastening then we are illegitimate and, therefore, cannot be called children of God (Hebrews 12:8). It says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15). Once more it says, “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die” (Proverbs 23:13). While there are no literal beatings and no actual rods being used in our home, certainly we understand the point.

My children are depending on me. I have to answer to God and I have to answer to them when it comes to my part in their development. I am not interested in being “PC.” I am not concerned about cultural changes or public opinion when it comes to their raising. I am interested in the truth. The truth is that spanking is a part of parenting and is at times necessary. At least, it is if we are parenting God’s way…

“He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” – Proverbs 13:24

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