Some Things Are Better Left Alone
Have you heard about the stone that could have played a role in an international incident? It seems that a Belgian farmer got tired of a certain stone being in his way every time as he plowed his field. His solution was to move it about seven-and-a-half feet. That “simple solution” turned out to be not quite so simple after all.
You see, that particular stone was a marker along the border between Belgium and France. His decision to move that one stone slightly increased the size of Belgium and decreased the size of France.
The date on that marker was 1819. One can only imagine all of the negotiations that took place over two hundred years ago which resulted in the border being agreeable to both sides. Apparently nothing had changed in over two centuries. The border between two independent countries remained intact until one man moved one stone in order to make his life slightly easier.
What if that stone had been on the border between North Korea and South Korea? Can you imagine the repercussions of moving anything along that border? What if that stone had been along the border between Israel and one of that country’s hostile neighbors? What if an attempt to move that stone had taken place during a time of open warfare? What if moving that stone had been part of some sinister plot?
The “what ifs” could go on and on I suppose. After all, once in a while we read or hear about neighbors in some community having sometimes violent disagreements over a property line between two yards. I once had a neighbor who made it clear that he did not want me to get over the property line between our two yards when I mowed. I thought that I was doing him a favor, but he informed me in a way that was impossible to misunderstand that I was not.
The unusual news item about the stone serves as a reminder to me that my personal convenience does not need to be my major consideration. Was it really all that inconvenient for the farmer to have to plow around that stone? The news item also serves as a reminder that what I may consider to be “no big deal” can actually be a “big deal” to others.
As I heard about and read the story about the farmer and the stone, I was reminded of a very funny (but embarrassing) incident that took place when I was still teaching high school years ago. One of my fellow teachers wore what I thought everybody knew was a hairpiece. It seemed pretty obvious to me and a lot of others. I thought that his “rug” had to be obvious to everybody.
I was wrong. Apparently it was not so obvious to one of my fellow teachers. She was talking to him one day and noticed that one hair was a little “unruly.” Her attempt to be helpful by putting that hair back in place resulted in moving the entire “head of hair” slightly! I’m thinking that it might have been better just to have left that one hair alone.
I’m also thinking that a lot of our relationships with one another would be enhanced a great deal if we (I) would learn to just leave some things alone/unsaid/undone. Do I really need to point out every personality quirk that others may have? Of course, you understand that I have none of those – right?
Let’s suppose that a person is trying to express to me how much they mean to me and that they make a grammatical error in doing so. Would I feel a need to correct his or her grammar or would I just leave that alone? I remember actually reading somewhere about a child who would write to a parent in order to express love and appreciation. The parent would later hand the note back with spelling and grammatical corrections. Can you imagine how that child must have felt?
What if a child or a grandchild dug up a pretty flower to present to you in an attempt to show his or her affection? What if that flower was an expensive one you had planted, had worked hard on finding just the right spot for it to be planted, and had “babied it” to bring it to maturity? Wouldn’t you just look into that sweet child’s loving eyes and express your gratitude and leave alone your disappointment about your “special flower?”
Could decades of friendship be ruined by one person who thinks that he or she has been mistreated or who has hurt feelings deciding to retaliate? You know the answer to that. It may have happened to you. On the other hand, you (I) may have been the one who retaliated. Wouldn’t all of that have been better left alone?
I guess that there are many instances of seemingly inconsequential acts that have not been so inconsequential after all. I’m just sharing some thoughts I had when I read about the incident that people in both Belgium and France find amusing instead of using it as a reason to engage in conflict.
That story has prompted me to do some self-examination. I’m wondering how many times I may have damaged or ruined a relationship with a person who, like me, is made in the image of God because I made a big deal out of something that, in the grand scheme of things, was not all that important.
I may need to learn that some things are better left alone. How about you?
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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn
