Summer “No” Vacation post #3: “Now That I’m a Counselor”

[This is the 3rd in our 4-part series, showing what some college students are doing with their summer “vacation.”]

Today’s post comes from Heather Fortenberry, who has a Tumblr site you can enjoy here.

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Summer camp. The one week of the year you always look forward to. Well, I know that it is one of my favorite weeks anyway. I wouldn’t miss it for anything! Some of my best childhood memories were made at camp.  Now, I am a counselor. Actually, that’s nothing new. I have been a counselor for about 6 years now. So…this title may seem like it doesn’t quite fit. But it does. Let me explain. My camp career has gone something like this:

Ages 7-13 year — Camper

Ages 14-15 — Worker (work in kitchen, canteen, etc.)

Age 16 — Jr. Counselor (had an older co-counselor)

Ages 17-20 — Counselor

So, yes, I am an experienced counselor. But this year was different. Maybe it’s because I am now a mature, 21-year-old woman. Okay, maybe not. But this year, I wasn’t going to camp for myself. Every year before I had been so pumped to go to camp and see MY friends and have tons of fun doing MY favorite things. I stayed up late with my counselor friends while my kids were asleep, and then the next day I was tired and moody. But this year I made a change. This year I realized that it wasn’t important for me to have fun. (Of course I did have a lot of fun anyway!) Yes, I knew this in years past, but I never actually acted on it until this year. This year I wanted to give my campers exactly what I had been given by my counselors. I wanted to make camp amazing for them. I looked at those little girls and it hit me. It wasn’t about me anymore.

It’s not about me. I think this is the most important lesson I will ever learn as a counselor, and as a Christian. At camp I just wanted to make those 8 and 9-year-old girls have a wonderful time at camp. I wanted them to be happy. It wasn’t about me at all. This is something I’ve found harder to remember as I’ve gotten older. Why? Well, I’m starting my senior year of college. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I have to decide who I want to date, and even if I want to date right now. I’m planning my schedule and choosing what activities I want to do. Soon I’m going to have to decide where to apply for jobs and what town I want to live in.  And all the while I have my mom constantly reminding me that she wants grandchildren.

Look back through that last paragraph. See a problem? It’s full of I’s and my’s. Did I even mention God? Nope. That’s the problem. This has been my attitude for way to long, and I didn’t even realize it. God should be at the center of all my plans, and I hadn’t even included Him at all. Everything in my life should be about Him, but I hadn’t been living that way. When I thought about God and His plan, instead of mine, I realized that God’s purpose for me being at camp was to be a positive influence on those girls. I am given the opportunity every year to make a difference in the life of at least one child. It makes sense, right? I’m not sure why it took me so long to figure it out.

So, now that I’m a counselor, I realize more than just the need to focus on the girls in my cabin. I finally understand. I have to stop living for myself. Instead of asking myself what I want to do and where I want to go, I need to be asking what God wants me to do and where He wants me to go. And I’m very thankful to the little girls who reminded me that It’s not about me. It’s about helping others. It’s about being a light. Most importantly, it’s about God.

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For more in this series:

Part 1 “Summer Blog” by Justin Smith

Part 2 “VBS Memories” by Christina Gillim