The Blessing and Curse of Having a Tender Heart
I want to raise children who are tender-hearted. I don’t want them to become like Pharaoh of old, when the Bible says that he “hardened his heart” (Exodus 7:13, et.al.). I don’t want them to have a conscience that is seared and can scarcely be touched any longer (1 Timothy 4:2).
But having a tender heart can seem to be a curse.
A tender heart is one that is more likely to be broken. It is easier to take advantage of someone with a tender heart. People with tender hearts often take longer for those hearts to heal than those who are hardened by life.
So, why would I want my child to have a tender heart? Because it is also a great blessing to have a tender heart.
It is a blessing because it is a heart that is like Jesus, one that is moved with compassion (Matthew 9:36; 14:14; 20:34).
It is a blessing because, when they sin, they will still be touched by the weight of that wrongdoing, and they will want to repent, as did David in Psalm 51.
It is a blessing because they will want to reach out to those who society puts on the sidelines (cf. Matthew 8:16-17).
But, for my children to have a tender heart, they must see that in me. That does not mean we have to be overly emotional or weak. What it does mean is that they need to see that it is okay to be touched by sin and suffering. It is okay for my kids to see their dad cry (cf. John 11:35) or appropriately angry (cf. John 2:17). It is okay if they see that it takes me a little longer than others to get over a hurt in my life.
As my kids continue to grow and as life gets more complex, this world will try to harden them. It will try to make them face everything with an attitude that says “nothing bothers me” or “you can’t get to me.” Certainly, there is a strength that is needed to face the ups and downs of life.
But real strength comes in facing those things and still being able to express all our God-given emotions. Real strength comes in overcoming seeing a tender heart as a curse; instead, seeing it for the great blessing it is: having a heart like Jesus.
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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn
