They (We) Weren’t Always Old
It doesn’t seem like it has been all that long ago that I looked at people who were well into the aging process and never gave much thought to the fact that I could be one of those people someday. I guess I thought that, somehow, I would always be the age I happened to be at that time.
During those years, I felt sorry for those whose gait was very slow, whose posture was not as erect as it once was, and who had trouble seeing, hearing, and/or understanding. I watched as a spouse would help his or her “life companion” struggle with devices and equipment designed to aid in mobility, transportation, comprehension, or a host of other things. I listened as people talked about the fact that their schedules consisted mostly of appointments with doctors, medical tests, surgeries, treatments, and the like.
I watched. I listened. I tried to empathize.
What I did not do was give much (if any) consideration to the fact that, one day, younger people would be looking at me as part of a generation that struggled with the aging process. I also did not give much thought to the fact that the older generation had not always been the older generation.
That old person whose skin is wrinkled and whose hair is gray used to be the pride and joy of a father and mother as they held their newborn child in their arms. Unless there were some physical or other reasons why this would not be the case, that person who is now having trouble getting around used to run and jump and seemingly never run out of energy.
That old person who now may be all alone probably had parents and others who used to celebrate achievements in school, athletics, etc. with them. Their “support group” used to sit patiently and proudly through every squeak of the clarinet, every line drive that would have been a great hit if not for an outstanding play by the other team, and every report card (good or bad). Their “support group” helped them deal with everything from scraped knees to broken hearts. Whatever life threw at them, they knew they had people who loved them, believed in them, and tried to help them.
As that person grew and became increasingly independent, he or she had dreams and goals. These goals probably did not include changing the world, but they probably had no intentions of being just another “cog in a wheel.” They planned to “make a difference” – whatever that meant to them at the time.
Somewhere along the way, life kind of settled into somewhat of a routine. The routine was probably different for different people, but each person seems to have a way of getting comfortable with his or her own version of “routine.”
It may have happened gradually or it may have been almost all at once, but the routine seemed to be increasingly interrupted. Family dynamics may have changed or there may have been some gradual or sudden changes in things like health, employment, location, etc.
Along with this it was becoming aware that younger people were looking at people of his/her generation in a way that seemed reminiscent of earlier years. Now, though, “the shoe was on the other foot.” They were the ones being looked at instead of the ones doing the looking.
I’d like to make a suggestion to those who are younger than I am. That number, by the way, seems to be increasing on a daily basis.
When you see one of those old people, please try to remember they (we) weren’t always old. We may not look like you do or have the same interests and tastes that you do. For example, we may never understand your music. Our parents didn’t understand ours either.
While there are some obvious differences, the truth is that we are all participants in the same race – the human race. Those who are older may be closer to the end of their time here on earth, but that shouldn’t be seen as a reason to think that their value as a person is diminished.
It might be helpful if younger people didn’t view those who are older as a museum piece to be observed. Instead, it might be better to view members of the older generations as human beings to be loved and appreciated.
In fact, those who are younger might be able to see those who are older as a valuable resource. They may find some information and tools that could help in the achievement of some of their dreams and goals. At the same time, this kind of association could help those who are older to rekindle a little of their youthful enthusiasm, curiosity, and maybe even some energy.
If the youth sometimes have difficulty understanding that older people haven’t always been old, the older people sometimes have a somewhat similar difficulty. They (we) may at least act like we think that those who are younger will always be young and will never be any more mature than they presently are. If older people expect, or at least would appreciate, younger generations treating them with respect and dignity, it might be a good idea to reciprocate.
How many problems do you think that would solve?
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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn
