Unnoticed Detectors and Silent Alarms
In today’s world, we can purchase a variety of different kinds of detectors for our houses. We invest in them in the hope that some sort of alarm or notification will alert us to potential and/or actual damage or danger.
We purchase these things because we do not want to lose the investment we have made in our house and all of its contents. We want the people we love to be safe, secure, and healthy. If – or when – an alarm is sounded or we receive a notification, we take whatever action is necessary in order to protect those who inhabit our house.
Unfortunately, while some of us go to great lengths to protect our houses, we are unaware of another danger. In many houses, there are unnoticed detectors and silent alarms that indicate something tragic about homes.
I hope you will believe me when I state that I am not trying to be flippant or rude when I suggest that every house that has children living in it is equipped with a phony detector. I am not thinking about a piece of equipment that is supposed to be some sort of detector but is, in reality, nothing more than a piece of junk.
What I am thinking is that children seem to have an inherent ability to detect behavior that makes them think that a person could be phony. I am wondering if some young people detect what they perceive as phoniness in their own parents, grandparents, or other adults. I am thinking that, while they may easily detect what they at least perceive to be phoniness, their “alarm” is silent because of the respect they may have for those who are older, fear of retribution, or a host of other reasons.
Our children and grandchildren may never say a thing, but they notice when what we profess and what we practice are not in alignment. Let me suggest a few times a silent alarm may go off in our homes:
- When we talk about our love for the Bible, but our children never see us opening ours during the week (or even taking one to a worship service)
- When we travel for hours and can sit for hours in terrible weather to cheer on our favorite team, but allow a dark cloud to keep us from worshiping
- When our nights (yes – even school nights) and weekends are filled with shopping, entertainment, sporting events, eating out, etc., but we “explain” to our children that regular participation in worship and other opportunities for spiritual growth “just take too much time” and/or “are just too much effort”
- When the Bible teaches that the first day of the week is the Lord’s day, but we use that day to travel, fish, golf, rest, etc.
- When our language and conduct is different when we are at the church building than is the case when we are with friends and family at other places
- When we will almost get off of our death bed to go to work, but will allow a sniffle to keep us from assembling with other Christians and worshiping the Lord
- When we encourage our children or grandchildren to get involved with those “youth service projects,” devotionals, etc., but they notice that the extent of my “involvement” is warming a pew
While it may be difficult for parents who still have children at home to believe, someday they will be sitting in a quiet house. There will not be the level of activity that there once had been. The noise level will be several decibels lower.
In the silence, there may be alarm.
Please read that last sentence again.
It does not say that there may be an alarm. It says that there may be alarm.
There may be alarm in that quiet, well-protected house because grown children have little or no interest the Lord, His church, living for Jesus, and/or spending eternity with Him. The Bible may mean nothing to them. Biblical morality could be ignored at best or possibly even ridiculed. These grown children could, themselves, be rearing children with even less interest in spiritual matters.
May I suggest one possible way to decrease the possibility of that kind of alarm in your home? Before I do, I need to try to make a couple of points.
First, I fully understand that parenting is not an “exact science.” I am not aware of any perfect parents. I certainly know that I do not see one when I look into a mirror.
Second, I also do not want anything written here to dismiss the individuality, responsibility, and/or accountability of children. Whatever I am (good or bad) is not directly the result of what my parents did or did not do as they reared me.
Now that I have those “disclaimers” in place, I would make that one final statement/suggestion:
Parents – specifically fathers – are commanded to “…bring [their children] up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). As that responsibility is carried out, there needs to be a constant awareness of those unnoticed detectors and silent alarms who are watching, listening, and learning.
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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn
