Watch Your “Wiring”

NOTE: Today’s post may not be for young readers, and I mean that sincerely. Just letting you know.

I’ve heard dozens if not scores of lessons on the Bible and sexuality. These message have covered nearly every possible topic within that scope. I’ve heard lessons on the sanctity of the “marriage bed,” the sins of adultery and fornication, the threat of pornography, and the fact that sexuality is God-given. These are just some of the lessons I have heard, and I have preached quite a few on these and related topics.

In nearly every lesson on this topic, it is pointed out that men are “wired” to be visual. Usually, this is said in a way that is a bit playful, and I’ve even heard preachers encourage wives to dress (or undress…yes, I have heard a preacher say that) in an attractive  or sensuous way, because God has wired a man to be visually stimulated.

It is true that God has made males this way, but I think there are two dangers of just pointing that out and leaving it at that.

1. First, just because a man may be visually-oriented does not mean that a wife is “obligated” to dress (or undress) in a sexual manner. That it totally up to the couple, and I believe is part of the “marriage bed” discussion. It is also probably not wise to speak of this in a public, sacred setting such as a worship service. There is nothing that should happen in any part of marriage–even in sexuality–that should cause embarrassment or shame. If a wife feels uncomfortable wearing scanty clothing, or acting in certain ways, that is okay, and she should feel comfortable stating that to a loving husband.

2. Second, some men take that “visual wiring” too far and think it is okay to feed their mind with sexual images because, after all, “God wired me this way.” Men, God may have put that in your wiring, but He also commanded that we keep our eyes for our wives! It is not within the bounds of a faithful walk with Christ to look at other women and then blame the lust we feel upon God. You will see sexual images in our society, but it is not God’s fault when you fail to have self-control and avert your eyes.

In every facet of our marriages, let’s watch our wiring. Be thankful that God has made men and women differently, but please do not use His gifts to promote shame or sin. He only gives “good and perfect gifts,” and it is up to us to utilize those gifts in good and perfect ways.

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What are your thoughts?