4 Things I Want to Teach My Children about Face-to-Face Conversations
For some reason, a lot of children struggle to have one-on-one conversations. Sometimes, they are nervous around strangers (and that can be legitimate), but a lot of young people struggle even around people they know.
I want my children to learn skills that will manifest themselves in those conversations, especially with older people. While there are all sorts of things I want them to know, here are four I hope they are learning along the way.
- Smile. It is rather remarkable what a difference a smile makes in a conversation, isn’t it? When we smile, we project confidence, but also an appreciation that we are being honored to be in this conversation with someone. It just makes the other person feel better. (Who knows, they may be a bit nervous, too!)
- Look Them in the Eye. To me, it is not cute when a young person who is 8, 9, or 10 years of age still hides behind his/her mom or dad when another person speaks to them. As that child grows, they need to learn to stand there and look the person in the eye as the conversation is going on. Looking at the floor, or across the room to a friend, or out into space is disrespectful of the one who is taking his/her time to speak with you.
- Listen and Respond. How many kids look at the person, but when they are asked a question, they don’t even know what was asked? I hope my children are learning to listen to what is being said and to respond in an appropriate way. Answer the question that is being asked. Reply to the comment with something thoughtful. Give a “thank you” or a “yes, ma’am” when it is appropriate. Proper responses show you are taking their words seriously.
- Remember Something for Next Time. What a sign of respect it is when someone brings up a story or comment you made the last time you talked! “I remember when you said that.” “When you told this story, I laughed so hard.” “I’ve been thinking about your question ever since.” Those types of things mean the world to someone who has engaged you in a conversation.
Certainly, there are more things I want my children to learn and be growing in. But these are the basics, and my kids need to learn them…and I know a lot of other kids who need them, too.
The truth is, I know one author of this post who could use a refresher course in these things every so often, too!
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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn
Photo background credit: Ron Mader on Creative Commons
