All Winning is Not Winning (A Second Look)
Recently I shared some thoughts about “winning.” The major thrust of those words had to do with how those of us who wear the name of Christ relate to those who need to wear that name. It was suggested there that we might win an argument, but not win a soul. [You can read that article here.]
I’ve been doing some thinking about other ways in which this same principle may apply. It seems to me that there are many ways in which all winning is not winning.
For example, I could be the kind of husband and/or father who “wins” by getting my way all of the time. Those “victories” may be due to my overbearing personality, my stubbornness, or any number of other factors.
However, what have I really won if my wife and/or children really do not care to be around me? Is it really a victory if they do whatever they do because they are motivated by fear instead of love? Do I demand their respect or have I earned that respect?
It seems to me that this same principle would apply in the workplace. If I have a position of some authority, am I one of those people for whom those under my authority would “go to the mat” or “run through a brick wall” because of their devotion to me or because they fear the consequences of any semblance of disloyalty?
The areas of my life in which this principle applies are almost endless, but I want to focus on one. That area is very closely related to my first thoughts about winning.
I’ve been thinking that there is a religious application of this besides that of the relationship between Christians and non-Christians. There is also, it seems to me, a real application when it comes to how Christians relate to each other.
Far more often than should be the case, congregations fracture because of a power struggle. An issue arises or a problem presents itself. A variety of ideas or solutions are thought of and suggested.
It is often helpful to explore different ideas, programs, ministries, solutions, etc. I suppose that the practice of “brainstorming” would be what we are talking about at this point.
However, the fracturing could (and often does) begin when sides are chosen and people begin to “lobby” for their ideas, preferences, leaders, etc. All too often, a once harmonious church family becomes collections of warring factions.
Sometimes the factions meet in the same building, but the tension is apparent to everybody; including those people who need to become Christians. Sometimes, the tension is so great and the fractures are so deep that the groups no longer even meet in the same building any longer.
For the sake of illustration, let us assume that the disagreement began over the building itself. Maybe there was talk of some remodeling. Maybe there was talk about an entirely new building and maybe even a new location.
Let’s (again for the sake of illustration) assume that “my side” won the day. The building in which I now worship looks just like I think it should look and is located just where I think it should be located. There are those with whom I used to worship in the old (or older style) building that I haven’t seen in years.
By the way, the “side” I’m on doesn’t really matter. I may have been on the “this building looks just fine the way it is” side. On the other hand, I may have been on the “we need to update, expand, or rebuild” side. Either way, my side won – and that’s what really matters.
Really? Is that what really matters?
Before I “take my stand” on something, I need to consider some things. I need to consider whether or not what I’m so concerned about is a doctrinal issue or a personal preference. I need to consider the impact my “stand,” my course of action, and my attitude will have on my brothers and sisters in the Lord. I need to consider how I will be consistent as I appeal for unity to those outside of Christ.
As I consider those things, I need to also consider what my Creator thinks about those who help to foster disunity among His people.
There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.
(Prov 6:16-19, ESV, emphasis added)
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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn
