The Church’s Most Difficult Unofficial Position

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For a congregation to be Scripturally organized, they must be part of the Church. For a congregation to be all that God would have it to be, they must be present and active.

Yet, there is not a single word of official qualifications listed for them, because they do not hold an official “position” or office within the congregation. Still, I believe they may have the hardest work of them all.

They are the wives of elders.

A man cannot serve as an elder unless he is “the husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2), so these ladies are vital to helping a man be qualified. But they are also vital to the lifeblood of the church. They help a man remain qualified by supporting him and praying for him as he serves.

However, these ladies also hold a very difficult position. Why? Just think of some of what they must do. Most of the time, a congregation is doing well and there is peace. At these times, it is quite easy to be an elder and the family of an elder.

But when there is a squabble. When difficulty arises. When sin enters the camp.

It’s then that I struggle to imagine what it is like to be the wife of an elder.

• She must watch him miss sleep, sometimes for days on end, as he agonizes over a decision or a confrontation.
• She knows that something is eating him alive from the inside, but he cannot share it with her because there was a confidence factor with a member.
• She sees him pour over the same passage of Scripture time after time after time, wanting to be absolutely sure that the congregation is doing just what Jesus would desire.
• She hears of a problem in another location–a mission work the church supports–and knows that, at any time in the next day or two, he might be leaving their driveway for a trip by plane or long car ride. Then, while he is away trying to help resolve conflict, she will worry for his safety and health.
• She is the one who must comfort him when sin rips apart another family that he has tried so strongly to help.
• She watches him agonize over having to step out of his comfort zone to resolve an issue, make a speech, or go to yet another boring meeting.

And on and on it goes.

Most of this is done in silence. If you were to look up “lady” in the dictionary, I believe Mr. Webster should have just written, “Look at the wife of an elder, and you’ll know what this term means.”

So, they may not have an official list of qualifications, and they may not get remembered too often in prayers or even in cards and calls, but the wives of elders are vital to the Church.

Thank you, ladies, for your wonderful work in God’s Kingdom.

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RESOURCE: On a recent episode of iPreach, Dale Jenkins and I interviewed my mom, Donna Faughn. My dad serves as both a preacher and elder in Paducah, and mom offered some great insight into being the wife of a man who holds both positions. If you wish to listen to this 32 minute interview, simply click here.

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Photo credit: Abdulsalam Haykal on Creative Commons

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