Effective Communication
Many years ago when I was in college (ouch, that hurts to say), I took a class on “Marriage and the Family.” I still have all the notes from the class and just recently I was dipping back into my folder for the sake of reviewing God’s allowances of divorce in the Old Testament. This, of course, would have been in regard to the question the Jews posed to Jesus about divorce in Matthew 19. Well, sometimes the search for something specific leads to the discovery of something else for which you were not looking. Instead of reviewing God’s thoughts about divorce I ended up pouring over some notes I had on guidelines for effective communication.
Communication is a process of interaction between human beings who desire the sharing of information with one another. This may include facts, ideas, values, expectations, emotions, and much more. In the process of this interaction, two parties are trying to understand each other and what is being shared. Communication involves a sender, a message, and a receiver. And although the process seems simple, problems usually arise from any and all of these three parts of the process.
It makes sense to me that individually it would be profitable if we would all concentrate on doing the very best at both sending and receiving messages. It also makes sense that the message itself–whether sent or received–would be something we spent some time with before sending. All healthy human relationships depend heavily on time and communication. So with that in mind, I want to give you the 10 guidelines on effective communication I rediscovered in my notebook.
GUIDELINES FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION:
- Spend time talking (Proverbs 15:23).
- Learn to listen (James 1:19).
- Check it out (John 21:15).
- Get inside the other person’s world (John 11).
- Be loving, caring, and kind (Colossians 3:12).
- Keep it honest, yet positive (Ephesians 4:25).
- Ban the bombs (Ephesians 4:31).
- Be specific, get to the point, and clarify (Acts 15:36-41).
- Become allies, be open and respectful (Luke 6:31).
- Use more than spoken words (Matthew 20:34).
I hope you will take a few moments to think about how the implementation of these guidelines might help you in your interpersonal relationships. It occurs to me that if we were all dedicated enough to doing the right thing and being the best we can be in our communication with others, that maybe I would not be looking through old notes on divorce. Maybe we would just be getting along better, and we could be searching instead for God’s higher thoughts on better things.
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
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AUTHOR: Jeremiah Tatum