Encouraging Christian Single Parents

Parenting is a monumental task. God has set a very high standard for parents, and the work is difficult. When we consider the amount of time, energy, thought, prayer, and faith that it takes to raise godly children, it is a daunting task, indeed.

But some–in fact, a lot–of adults are doing the work alone. According to the Census, some 10,500,000 households in America (in 2008) are led by a single parent. [pdf to “Fact Sheet”] According to the same source, around 29% of all children in America are currently living in a home led by one parent.

This post is not meant in any way to berate single parents. Most single parents who are Christians are not “at fault” for their situation. Quite a few are single because death has taken a spouse away. Others are the innocent party in a divorce situation. Each situation carries with it a certain set of difficulties that are hard to explain. As the family of God, we need to pray for each person doing this task alone, and we need to put a network of help around them that is unmistakably strong.

Why? Because single parents face a myriad of challenges. Here are just a few, and this list is in no ways meant to be exhaustive.

1. Dual Roles. In God’s design, a man and woman are to work together as a team to help children grow into Christian maturity. Since they are a team, each plays a different, but necessary, role in raising children. When there is but one parent, he/she must work extra hard to fulfill both roles.

2. Lack of Support. Parents need a support group around them. When there are two parents, at least one layer of that support is naturally built in. When there is but one parent, he/she must go outside and seek out support, which can be awkward at best and downright embarrassing at worst.

3. Decision Making. A marriage that is working as God would have it to work requires both individuals to be involved in making major decisions (where to live, how to budget, what school the children will attend, etc.). When there is one parent, there is no one in the home to bounce these ideas off of, and decision making becomes harder.

4. Exhaustion. Parenting is hard work. But one who must do all the work of parenting as well as hold down a job and run the household…alone…must be physically and emotionally drained all the time. If a single parent seems a bit “chippy” at times, or is showing extra emotion, it could just be coming from a level of exhaustion that we do not fully understand.

5. Feeling Like a “Second-Tier” Christian. As a preacher, I am guilty of preaching the parenting sermons and only preaching to two-parent families. While that is God’s design, Christian parents who are doing the work alone are not some “second-level” Christians. They need encouragement and instruction from the Word of God, too. While we must preach God’s design, we do not need to leave single parents out of practical applications from God’s Word.

6. Finances. Of course, some single parents make a tremendous amount of money, but others are living on a normal salary, and must include costs like day care in their budget. Often, single parents struggle to make ends meet just from necessary costs.

7. “Leaving” the Children. Many single parents would love to be at home with their child(ren), but just cannot. That parent must work to provide, and so the child must be left with family or a day care. Many single parents feel a since of guilt from that, but they are doing the best they can, and need to be reminded of that.

QUESTIONS: 

1. What other challenges do single parents face?

2. How can congregations work harder to help single parents meet these needs?

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Note: This post is in response to a recent reader suggestion. During July, we will have a total of 8 such posts. Thanks to “Mark” for suggesting this post!

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photo credit: RainbowFantasy from Flickr Creative Commons