Don’t Hide Death from Your Children

I still remember the conversation. When we lived in Haleyville, funerals were an event. You didn’t plan to just “run into” a funeral visitation, because you were going to be in line. People showed up in droves.

At this service, I was standing in one of those visitation lines and talking to the folks around me. In front of me was a young lady whom we knew very well. At the time, she was about 15 years old, and we were just talking about school and life in general.

Finally, after about 5 minutes of talking, she just said, “This is the first time I’ve ever been in a funeral home.”

I was floored. This was a Christian young lady who was in a town where funerals were an event, and she had never even been in the building! Of course, that led to a conversation about how she was super nervous and didn’t know what to expect.

Now, of course, I have been in funeral homes hundreds of times, sometimes as “the preacher,” but often just as a Christian or family member. Even so, I admit that I still get a little nervous. Preaching funerals is very hard on me, but I am honored to speak. Going to a funeral home doesn’t bother me the way it used to, but it still isn’t totally comfortable.

As much as we possibly can, we take our kids with us. And, before you even think this, we don’t do it because they are the “preacher’s kids” and it’s just what they are expected to do.

It’s because they need to learn Ecclesiastes.

What?

The Preacher of Ecclesiastes wrote, “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:2).

But our society turns that idea on its head, and tries to hide our children from death, showing them “feasting” (entertainment) as the best way to spend each day. Parents, we need to avoid that.

Keep in mind that Scripture does not teach that we should avoid all forms of having fun and being entertained. There is nothing wrong with enjoying fun activities, and doing so with our children. If that’s all we ever do with them, however, we are doing our children a great disservice.

These reminders of our mortality may cause some struggles and even tears, but they are a grand teaching opportunity for parents.

Teach them…

1. How to be respectful to the grieving.

2. How to show respect around a casket, graveside, or in a special service (like a military service).

3. That life is short.

4. That heaven is promised to the faithful.

5. That it is okay to be nervous…

6. …but we can’t let that keep us from doing what is right.

Parents, please take your children to visitations, funeral homes, and the graveside. As you do, you are building into their lives lessons that are far more important and long-lasting than if we just entertain them all the time.

QUESTION: What else can/should we teach our children about death?

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Photo credit: Jonelle B. on Creative Commons

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