How Do You Know If Someone Loves You?
Later this week, we will venture upon Valentine’s Day. Over the years I have tried to appreciate that holiday and at the same time, I realize that it is not a celebration for everyone. In fact, those without a “sweetheart” to celebrate with on that day would like to forget that it exists altogether. It means something to us to be loved by someone else. If we are single on that day it means our loved one has either never arrived or they have gone. The two most essential needs in life are to love and to be loved.
But that makes me ask this question to myself – “How do I know if someone loves me?” What behavior or feelings constitute love? Soon after I asked myself that question I realized just how selfish it was. The better question is, “How does someone else know that I love them?” From any angle you want to look at it, a good answer to how to love and be loved is found in 1 Corinthians 13.
While 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 4 are often thought of as the “love chapters” of the Bible – 1 Corinthians 13 is actually discussing love within the context of the spiritual gifts God had given to the first-century church. These were miraculous gifts that the church used through the power of the Holy Spirit before the completion of Scripture. They were for the maturation and guidance of the church.
After Paul reminds the Christians at Corinth that no act, no matter how great, is significant without love (1 Cor. 13:1-3), he then goes into defining love in detail:
“Love suffers long and is kind: love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
I would pause here and encourage the reader to look at this passage from several translations and, if possible, the original language. If one were to do so I think these are at least some of the conclusions that would be made:
- We cannot love if we are impatient.
- We cannot love with a hateful or bitter disposition.
- We cannot love if we are seeking to be rewarded by loving.
- We cannot love if we are jealous or selfish.
- Love cannot be baited into sinful or unbecoming behavior.
- Love is pure in all of its thoughts and purposes.
- Love will never celebrate when people are suffering, even people who have chosen enmity.
- Love is always honest and will never approve of something that is immoral in any way.
As I look at the end of this text I see that real, genuine love bears, believes, hopes, endures, never fails – it is also eternal, lasting even beyond hope and faith. Love is the greatest thing we know. Ultimately, we can know that we are loved because of who God is. We can know HOW to love because of how God loves. He is the one who will never leave us or forsake us. He is much more than a sweetheart can ever be. He is our Creator, Sustainer, and our eternal Father in heaven. And we are loved…
“In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God sent His only begotten Son into the world…” (1 John 4:9).
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AUTHOR: Jeremiah Tatum
