Let Marriage be Held in Honor Among…The Spouses

One of the most foundational passages in the entire New Testament concerning marriage is found near the end of Hebrews. After making a powerful argument for the superiority of Jesus, the inspired author turns to various practical matters, many of which deal with our relationships in the church.

However, in the midst of these practical commands and admonitions, the writer says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and the bed undefiled.” Entire series of sermons could be preached on principles from that one verse, but I want to share one very practical application of it that is too easily overlooked.

If marriage is to be held in honor “among all,” that includes those who are in the marriage, and that honor needs to begin far before any application of “the bed” mentioned in the latter part of the verse.

It is tragic that so many couples basically seem to act as if, so long as they do not cheat on their spouse, they are being faithful and honorable. The honor of marriage, though, begins miles and miles before any sort of sexual unfaithfulness could occur, and it includes far more aspects of marriage than just sexual intimacy.

For example,

• If I make my husband the punchline of all my putdowns, even if it is just “in good fun,” is that holding him up in honor before the world?
• If I share on social media how my wife is not holding up her end of the bargain, is that honoring our vows?
• If I tell everyone else what a great job they do on various things, but rarely if ever take the time to tell my spouse when they do something well (even if it’s just “expected” to be done), am I honoring him or her?
• If my eyes wander every time we are in a mall, or when I am online, to the bodies of other people, am I honoring my spouse in my heart?

Every person has problems. Of necessity, that means that a spouse, no matter how wonderful I may think they are, has problems. Too often, though, we decide to share those problems with the world or use them to justify our actions that are unkind, uncaring, or even cruel–even if subtly so.

Instead, we are to honor marriage, and never let the shortcomings of our spouse be a barrier from our holding up our spouse as the wonderful gift God has given us to spend our life with.

And, by the way, if both spouses make the effort to do that? Temptation to violate the second part of Hebrews 13:4 rarely becomes a problem.

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AUTHOR: Adam Faughn