Church Life,  Family

“Love” and “Acceptance” are Not Synonyms

“Mary Carol, don’t run out into the street.”

“Turner, you can’t eat 15 cookies.”

Why do I tell my children these things? Why can I not just accept their actions? Why can’t I just let them express themselves however they choose? After all, that’s what they want to do.

It’s because I love them.

A parent who loves a child sets boundaries that provide for both maturity and safety. I know that running out into the street with abandon could lead to injury or worse. While cookies are great (especially Leah’s ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookies), 15 of them will make a little kid sick and unhealthy.

That concept is so basic. Nearly everyone understands that as it pertains to parenting, especially smaller children.

Why, then, do we not understand the same concept as it pertains to our heavenly Father?

Practicing homosexuality is a sin.

Adultery and fornication are wrong.

Adding to God’s prescribed ways of worship is sinful.

Gambling is lawlessness.

Why? Doesn’t God love me? How can He be so intolerant?

It’s because He loves you.

It’s because, like a wise parent, He knows where these things lead. They lead to problems (at the very least) in this life, and eternal damnation after death.

It’s because He wants what is best for you. He wants you to have an abundant life, as well as eternal life.

Love and acceptance are not synonyms. Sometimes, love just cannot be accepting. Sometimes love says “no.” And sometimes, love punishes.

But it’s because love knows the outcome and is trying to mold behaviors for what is best.

Why do we struggle to make this distinction?

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Photo credit: Mindaugas Danys on creative commons

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A Legacy of Faith exists to help families survive the day, plan for tomorrow, and always keep an eye on eternity. If you choose to print one of our articles in another publication (e.g., church bulletin), please give credit to the author and provide a link to the article's url. Thank you.

8 Comments

  • Penrodtina

    Awesome illustration Adam!  I have an illustration I use sometimes – I need to tell you about it  soon so you can tweak it and maybe use it sometime on your blog 🙂

  • GospelTiger7305

    The verse in 1 Corinthians 13:6 rings a bell: LOVE DOES NOT REJOICE IN WRONGDOING.  IT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH. 

    Thank you Adam for another great article.
    KC

  • Wayne Davidson

    Although you are not politically correct, this is a great post.  Hebrews 12 spends quite a bit of time telling us that chastening is because of love. Proverbs 13:24 says that the father who does n0t chasten his child hates him. Someone may tell me that I am old fashioned and out of touch, but I already know that, and I turly appreciate young men who are willing to stand up and tell what the facts are.

  • Adam Faughn

    As I was writing this, Hebrews 12 kept coming through my mind. That passage really teaches a lot about God and about parenting and more of us need to spend some serious time with those verses.