The Other Sumo Wrestlers
The thoughts I’m about to share are not about those Japanese wrestlers who make me feel good about my weight and who could use a lot more clothing as they compete. At the same time, what I have on my mind could be just about as dangerous for me as getting into that circle with one of those guys.
At the risk of making some people very upset with me, I am actually writing about another group of people. I’ve never met the first type of sumo wrestler. I have, however, met quite a few of the kind of people I’ve been thinking about lately.
Actually, I’ve not just been thinking about these people lately. I’ve been thinking about, praying for, working with, trying to encourage, reasoning with, and doing a lot of other things with and for these people for years.
It has only been in the last few days that I’ve come up with a way to identify them. Again, at the risk of upsetting some people and with the knowledge that these next words are very far from being “politically correct,” these are the people whose involvement with a local congregation of God’s people is limited to SUnday Morning Only – (SUMO).
I am not at all thinking or writing about people who have some issues and struggles that make it difficult to assemble with the saints even one time a week. Those people who make a real effort to “be at church” are an inspiration to me. In fact, there have been times when I might not have been feeling so well, but I have made the effort because of those people who really struggle on a regular basis. I’ve even said on occasion, “If __________ can be there, then surely I can be there.”
Instead, the people on my mind are those who seemingly have sufficient time, energy, and resources to go anywhere else they want to go and do anything they want to do all during the week and then have difficulty squeezing in an hour on Sunday morning to worship. Sadly, in some cases, even that hour “goes by the wayside” if the weather isn’t just right, if “something more important” comes up, if family or friends have decided to visit, etc.
I’m wondering if the “sumos” have their own wrestling matches. I’m not suggesting that they might engage in some sort of physical confrontation. Rather, I’m thinking that they may have some internal conflicts.
I can imagine, for example, that one of the struggles that “sumos” may have has to do with pronouns. When they talk about the members of the congregation they refer to as their “home congregation,” I’m wondering if they have trouble trying to decide whether to use “we” or “they.” If the choice is “we,” I wonder if there is a possibility that they might feel a little hypocritical. If the choice is “they,” I’m wondering if they are admitting a feeling of isolation or alienation.
I’m also wondering if the “sumos” wrestle with the disconnect between what their children hear on those Sunday mornings when they are actually in attendance during a worship service and what those same children are observing in the choices that their parents make. Part of what those children hear (hopefully) has to do with things like dedication, involvement, belonging, communication, caring, etc. In short, what they are hearing sounds a lot like a close, loving family.
Sadly, it is my fear that, all too often, what is being “modeled” by parents and other loved ones is far from that. The parents may not even know the names of most of the members of the congregation, do not know the needs of anybody outside of their own family, hardly if ever get involved in any organized effort, and cannot even make it to the church building only one hour earlier for a period of Bible study on those Sundays when they actually do attend.
I wonder too if some of the “internal wrestling” might take place when a “sumo” learns that a friend has visited his or her “home congregation” on a Sunday or Wednesday night or on one of those Sundays when something else took the place of worship. That person may have decided to visit because of glowing reports from the “sumo.” I’ve seen the look on the faces of this kind of visitor when he or she learns that it is not all that unusual for their friend to not be there. They try to project a look that seems intended to send the message that they understand. They may even say that they understand.
The overall demeanor of those guests, however, sends a different message. That message is one that is a mixture of disappointment, confusion, and a failure to understand. If that friend is a Christian, the reaction seems to lean more in the direction of disappointment. If that friend is not a Christian, you can almost see their thoughts: “If being a Christian doesn’t mean any more to them than this, why should it mean anything at all to me?”
It may be that “sumos” wrestle with what their neighbors are thinking when they see their vehicles in their driveways during times when a Bible class or worship assembly is scheduled. Those neighbors may see (and could even be invited to) a backyard cookout or some other social event at the home of the “sumo.”
I wonder if the “sumos” wrestle with how to respond when a brother or sister brings food by following a death in the family, surgery, etc. While they are expressing gratitude I wonder if they could also be wrestling with the fact that they may rarely, if ever, join with other members of the congregation in an effort like that.
I could go on and on with my speculations. Frankly, that’s all they are – speculations. I really have no way of knowing what, if anything, other people are thinking. I realize that I could be accused of writing about something of which I have no knowledge. I could be accused of being unkind, judgmental, and a number of other things. I will admit that there may be some – or a lot of – truth to these accusations.
There is one thing, though, about which I have absolutely no doubt. I have that confidence because I’ve “lived it” for a great deal of my adult life. I’ve alluded to the reason for my confidence in an earlier sentence. You may want to reread the last sentence in the third paragraph of this post.
What I’m talking about is that, as an elder and a preacher, I have wrestled for more years than I’d like to remember with my inability to help people to see the value in being an active and productive member of a local congregation of God’s people. I’ve lost as much sleep over this and spent as much time in prayer over this as any of the other things that often keep me awake at night and/or in communication with my Father.
I know that there is a time and a place when and where there will be no more wrestling. I’m just trying to get to that place and to help as many people as I can to also have that experience.
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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn
