What Is a “Real Man”?
Recently, I was asked to speak on the following topic:
Rearing Boys to be Men
As I prepared the presentation, I thought that it might be a good idea to define some terms. One of the words that, obviously, was pertinent to the discussion is the word “man.”
It seems to me that we have let our society define that word in ways that are, in no way, helpful. It is my contention that, in particular, the entertainment and sports community have fed us a lot of lies about what a “real man” is.
As part of my research (and as a part of the presentation), I considered a couple of interesting thoughts on this subject. I present them here for your consideration.
The first description of a “real man” comes from a man who had experienced a lot of what many today would qualify as meeting the modern and popular criteria for that designation. You can read about his life in your Bible. Power, prestige, position, and much more were his. Among other things, as the king, he was looked to as the ultimate human leader of an entire nation.
You can also read what this man had to say to the son who was to succeed him as the leader of the nation. When David was about to die, he did not advise Solomon to be a great military leader, one who used his power to get his way, make a lot of money, etc. Rather, his “advice” is recorded for us in 2 Kings 2:1-4
When David’s time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, ‘I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn, that the LORD may establish his word that he spoke concerning me, saying, If your sons pay close attention to their way, to walk before me in faithfulness with all their heart and with all their soul, you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.’ (emphasis added)
As I prepared what I planned to say, I remembered something I had read that expressed the thoughts of another powerful man. General Douglas MacArthur’s military achievements are legendary. In addition to those exploits, he was enough of a “real man” that he stood for what he believed to be right even when it put him at odds with the president of the United States (and cost him his command).
So what did this “man’s man” and leader of men think of when he thought of a “real man?” As was the case, this may be best seen in what he wanted for his son. In MacArthur’s case, it was his only son. Consider carefully these words:
Build Me a Son
General Douglas A. MacArthur
Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,
and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid;
one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,
and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishbone will not be
where his backbone should be;
a son who will know Thee- and that
to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort,
but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge.
Here, let him learn to stand up in the storm;
here, let him team compassion for those who fall.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goals will be high;
a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men;
one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep;
one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
And after all these things are his,
add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor,
so that he may always be serious,
yet never take himself too seriously.
Give him humility, so that he may always remember
the simplicity of true greatness,
the open mind of true wisdom,
the meekness of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper,
“I have not lived in vain.”
So – what is your definition of “a real man?” Can you improve on either one (or both) of these?
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AUTHOR: Jim Faughn
