Why We Need to be Careful When We’re “Just Kidding”

Anybody who knows me is aware of the fact that I like to laugh. In fact, I agree with a preacher friend of mine who told me years ago that those who might be critical of him because they think he uses too much humor when he preaches might be very proud of him if they knew how much humor he stifles when he preaches!

I often seem to find humor in situations that are not seen as humorous by anybody else. That can cause some real problems at times. I’ve had to apologize more than once for that.

I’ve also had to apologize for something else. I’m wondering how many others have had to do the same or have needed to do the same, but have not done so.

You see, there have been times when I’ve explained away and/or tried to excuse my behavior by trying to convince myself and/or others that I was laughing with somebody. The awful truth is that I was actually laughing at somebody.

I can assure you that this was never done intentionally. Often the person or people in question made it appear as though I was, in fact, laughing with them. After all, they were laughing, too. They seemed to enjoy the joke, situation, or practical joke as much as I was.

How was I to know that, when they were all alone, they were experiencing heartache, anger, or frustration because of my words or actions?

Years ago, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles recorded a song that has been re-recorded many times. The song was entitled “The Tracks of My Tears.” 

Although the song was about the heartache felt over the loss of a girlfriend, consider these words as they relate to all of our relationships:

People say I’m the life of the party

‘Cause I tell a joke or two.

Although I may be laughing loud and hearty,

Deep inside I’m blue.

So take a good look at my face.

You’ll see my smile looks out of place.

If you’ll look closer, it’s easy to trace

The tracks of my tears.

May I encourage all of us, including me, to be more sensitive to the feelings of others? Many very close relationships–including friendships, marriages, and churches–have suffered sometimes permanent damage because somebody was just kidding.

That could be at least one of the reasons why the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write the following: “Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29, ESV, emphasis added).

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