How Do I Help Somebody Who Has Lost a Loved One?
We’ve all been there or we’ll all be there. It may be that you are there right now. Somebody you know has lost a family member. You want to help, but you are not entirely sure how you can do that.
In the most recent issue of the Gospel Advocate (Vol. 160, No. 9, September 2018), there was an informative article by a sister in the Lord. Michelle Moore wrote about the loss of her son and provided what I thought was some very practical advice. You may find her article on pages 14-16 of this issue.
She wrote of things that many of us have thought of. For example, she suggested that ministering to those who are grieving “…will most likely be a thankless job for a while…” This, she suggests, is because those who are grieving cannot process things as they once did.
She also suggested that those who are grieving need to continue to be invited to events. She further suggested that those who do the inviting need to understand if they decline.
Sister Moore also reminded us of something that we probably already know. There is no definite schedule to grieving. The process may take much longer for some than it does for others.
What I found to be very helpful were what I thought were some very practical suggestions. What follows, then, are the words of sister Moore without any “editorial comment” from me. I have shortened most of them for the sake of space and the comments in parentheses are mine.
While some of sister Moore’s ideas seem to have been written from the perspective of a woman, not all of them are. I hope that you find them as practical and helpful as I did.
– Jim Faughn
—
1. Pray for them every single day.
2. Send a card – or even more than one…Include a story about the loved one…
3. Send a gift card to a restaurant….
4. Text… Include scripture, not just the reference, but write out the scripture. Let them know specifically what you are praying for when you text.
5. When you head to the store, call the family…
6. Take care of a difficult task. (She suggests such things as mowing the yard, cooking Thanksgiving dinner, putting up holiday lights, etc.)
7. Drop off a care package…
8. Offer to help when it is time to go through their loved one’s things… (Among other things, it gives the one grieving a chance to share memories.)
9. Take a friend or two and go help around the house…
10. Invite your friend to go out to lunch or grab coffee…
11. If your friend has small children, offer to take them for an afternoon to give her some time to grieve alone and uninterrupted.
12. If the death is that of a child, do not forget the siblings…
13. In conversations with someone who is grieving, say the loved one’s name…
– Michelle Moore
To Receive Every Article from A Legacy of Faith through Email for Free, Click Here
AUTHOR: Jim Faughn
