How Pornography is Robbing Men…and Boys

There can be no doubt that pornography is a major problem in our society. Even some, who a few years ago, thought that “a little porn” was “no big deal” are now reversing course. As we see this industry grow into a literal powerhouse economically, it is clear that the “adult” industry is here to stay.

But at what cost?

Pornography is not just a problem for men any longer. Though we are going to confine our thoughts in this post to males, it is now estimated that fully 30% of those who regularly visit pornographic websites are female, and the number is growing. More startling, though, is the suggestion that this growth in female users is because the number of men who are regular visitors is about as high as it is going to get. So many men are hooked that those who sell this smut must look elsewhere, and they are finding a lot of females who are ready to look, too.

Pornography is not just something that provides a little “tease” or even a little “escape,” however. It is dangerous. We know that it is habit-forming (dare I say, “addictive”), and research has proven that time and again. The earlier the exposure, the more likely a problem or even an addiction can form. Boys now average the age of just 11 for their first exposure. And the age is dropping.

But from young boys to older men, and every age in between, pornography robs men. It is a thief that takes a lot, and gives very little back. What is it robbing men of?

Redeeming the Time. Every mouse click can lead to a few more mouse clicks. When the internet first started really growing in popularity and usage, we kidded about how it was a “time suck.” A person would sit down to find out the score to the game, and two hours later, finally log off from the ‘net. Now, many men sit down to “just” see one picture or short video clip, only to look up and it’s been the same two hours, but the time has been spent alone, filling his mind with sexually perverted imagery. Many have lost their jobs over this issue, not necessarily because they were viewing porn, but because they were wasting valuable working time and not getting their work done. The time that is spent viewing pornographic pictures or videos is time that is not being spent doing what God has put us on the earth to do.

True marital intimacy. Pornography makes a woman into nothing more than an object. She becomes something to conquer and do with as the man pleases, then dispose of for another conquest. In other words, it removes the soul from the body. True, God-given sexuality combines the whole of man and woman in a bond that is not only innocent, but intimate. If a man is viewing all these other women, he cannot fully concentrate on his wife, and he will struggle to be truly intimate with her.

Appreciation of real beauty. Those who are addicted to pornography often speak of how it takes “more and more” to find the same level of fun. They sometimes mean that in volume, but they also mean it in the types of things they want to see. The girl who was super good looking yesterday no longer measures up, as the industry churns out newer, raunchier, and more seductive material. With high-quality cameras, computer editing, and airbrushing, the girls are no longer even real in their proportions or their looks. Now, his wife is not quite what she used to be, either. Instead of seeing how beautiful his wife really is, he will begin to think about any flaw she might have, and he will fail to appreciate her true, and God-given, beauty.

Evangelism. Men who struggle with pornography only see bodies. They do not see souls, so why would they preach or teach others the need to be saved? He will especially struggle to talk to women about salvation, because (frankly) that’s not what he’s thinking about when he looks at a woman any longer. He isn’t thinking about her soul, because pornography has removed that thought from his mind.

Every man and boy needs to realize that pornography is no laughing matter. It is a thief, and thieves need to be apprehended.

QUESTION: What else does pornography rob a man of? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Further Reading:

The Effects of Porn on the Male Brain [Christian Research Institute]

Wired for Intimacy by William M. Struthers [Kindle book on Amazon]

How Porn Affects the Brain

“The Truth about…Pornography”

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Photo credit: Alfred Fitzpatrick on Creative Commons

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