Saying “No” for a Reason
There is an old principle that I have heard, I suppose, for my entire life, but it has never really sunk in until recently. Or, maybe, to put it a better way, I knew the principle but did not live it out in practice. I’ll share what that principle is in a moment. But, first, a couple of personal anecdotes that provide the backdrop to this article.
I was asked a short time ago to take part in something I had done before. Most wouldn’t consider it a big thing, and it would have probably only taken a couple of hours each week on average (something like that, anyway). It was also something I enjoyed to a good degree. But I said “no.”
At about the same time, I made the decision to stop working on a project that has been a “pet” project of mine for over two years. My plan is to finish out what I have to do over the next couple of months, but then not pursue it any longer. Again, it does not take tons of time, and it has been something I enjoyed, but I am still saying “no” to it.
Why would I say “no,” even to things that I enjoy? That’s where the principle comes back into play. It is one that I have heard for a long time–and have probably even said–but just have not practiced as well as I should.
Here it is: when you say “no” to something, you can say “yes” to something else.
Those “few” hours spent on just those two projects are time well spent, but I cannot do those things and other things that, to me, are more needed right now in my life and ministry. Others might be able to, but I can’t (or, at least, I can’t do them all and do them well).
It was not just saying “no” to those things. It was saying “yes” to some things that either I wanted/needed to do, or that I needed to spend more devoted time doing.
In your life, this principle applies whether you want it to or not. It applies in your time. It applies in your finances. It applies in your devotion to God. It applies in your dedication to your marriage and your family.
Saying “no” often feels wrong to us (and it can be wrong). But if we are saying “no” for the reason of saying “yes” to something that is better for our spiritual walk, our family’s strength, and our overall well-being, that can be a net positive.
Laziness is wrong. Just saying “no” to everything would obviously be wrong. Just saying “no” because you don’t want to do something could be wrong. But saying “no” in order to do something else that is just as good, if not better? That is saying “no” with reason, and it might be the best answer you could give.
AUTHOR: Adam Faughn