Thoughts on Becoming “One” with Your Spouse

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Maybe no verse is used more in wedding ceremonies than that one. It outlines so much of what God has in mind for the design of marriage.

Often, we abbreviate it a bit when we talk about the “one flesh” idea, and just say, “They shall become one.”

In commenting on the verse, Matthew Henry wrote,

See how firm the bond of marriage is, not to be divided and weakened by having many wives (Malachi 2:15) nor to be broken or cut off by divorce, for any cause but fornication. … See how dear the affection ought to be between husband and wife, such as there is to our own bodies, Ephesians 5:28. These two are one flesh; let them then be one soul.

Adam Clarke adds,

These words may be understood in a twofold sense. 1. These two shall be one flesh, shall be considered as one body, having no separate or independent rights, privileges, cares, concerns, &c., each being equally interested in all things that concern the marriage state. 2. These two shall be for the production of one flesh; from their union a posterity shall spring, as exactly resembling themselves as they do each other.

This phrase should be the goal of every marriage. But what does it mean? We are obviously speaking about the very height of intimacy between a husband and a wife. But, in our confused society we don’t really know what that means.

Consider…

1. “One Flesh” is not only talking about SEX. This is what our society seems to think the word means, but it only thinks of this. Clearly, by using the word “flesh,” sex is included. But truly becoming one is not only done in one physical act. The sexual relationship should be a result of being one, not the definition of it.

2. “One Flesh” means more than something SOCIAL. There are too many couples who put on a good show in public and look as if they are “one,” when they are anything but. The “one flesh” relationship needs to be true in both public and private. Stop acting like something you are not.

3. “One Flesh” is not just SUPERSTITION. In other words, it is not just some words we say in a wedding ceremony out of tradition, or to try to put some “positive vibes” on our marriage. These are words that are the Creator’s design for marriage, not just trite statements to make our wedding look traditional.

4. “One Flesh” is meant to be a reflection of the SAVIOR. Jesus is completely involved with His Church. He died for her. He loves her. You cannot have one without the other. Such should be the case with our marriages. Our marriages need to soak in the light that comes from God in such a way that we cannot help but shine that light outward to the world around us. You should not be able to think of one spouse without thinking of the other.

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Next Friday, we’ll list some ways to help build this “oneness” in your marriage.

QUESTION: How else has our society tried to re-define “oneness” in marriage?

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Photo credit: bravenewtraveler on Flickr creative commons.

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